Barrington: Family Matters
by Erlene
Summary: CJ and Abby move forward with their lives.  And begin making difficult decisions.  Sequel to Barrington: CJ and Abby Love Story.
1. Chapter 1

CJ eyes swept the room of yet another party. She hated being a guest, but Abby had insisted that she attend. So, she put on the full-lengthfd grey front-button gown and prepared herself for a long evening of small talk. Her eyes finally fell on Abby and she smiled to herself. The couture fit the brunette perfectly, hugging every single curve. CJ felt her mouth go dry at the thought of Abby stepping out of that form fitting number. She could imagine the garter belt that held up black silk stalkings and the matching bra and under ware. She licked her lips nervously.

"Don't worry CJ, you can leave soon."

"Huh…" CJ tore her eyes away from Abby and shaking the lascivious thoughts from her head. She glanced to her left to see Toby standing there. She quickly downed her drink trying to regain her composure. "Ummm. Hey Toby. What did you say?"

"You looked really far away, like you would rather be anywhere but here."

"Kinda. Its been a long day. I hope I wasn't too obvious."

"Not incredibly. Do you two have plans after this?"

"A weekend in Malibu. Then London. We haven't seen each other in a few weeks. I'm rather anxious."

"Noooooo CJ, I can't imagine that." CJ swatted at him with her purse. "Well, I am about to go detach the Governor from Asher Wells. I'll make an excuse so you can get out of here early. Why don't you head to the car."

"God bless you." Toby chuckled as he walked away. CJ made a beeline for the door and the car.

Abby opened the door moments later. "Toby said you looked anxious."

"Toby lies."

"You weren't anxious. Mmmmm. I was going to reward an anxious girl, but since you weren't anxious I guess you get no reward."

"I was a little anxious."

"Come collect your reward." CJ smiled slinking her way across the limo. Abby took her face between her hands giving her a deep passionate kiss. "Oh Claudia. I've missed you. Three weeks is entirely too long."

"For me too. You travel too much."

"Its how I make my money. And I have to keep you in the lifestyle you've become accustomed too."

"You're right you do. That gallon of fudge brownie ice cream you left in the freezer is completely gone. I need more." CJ snaked her arms around Abby's back, working her zipper down to allow the dress to slip from her shoulders. This exposed her full breast to CJs kisses. "But now that I have these I may not need the ice cream."

"Claudia…" She breathed. "We can't do this here. There might be press at the plane." At that very moment they pulled up outside of the plane. And as predicted the press had gathered. CJ giggled into her neck. "Stop laughing. And help me with this dress."

"I was helping you and you want to put it back on." Abby lifted the hair from the back of her neck.

"Zip me up." CJ did as she was told and placed a kiss at the top of the zipper. "Thank you. How does my make-up look?"

"Perfect as always."

"Ok. Lets go." Abby stepped from the car perfectly redressed. CJ followed, standing clear of press while waiting for the attendant to hand her her suitcase.

"Mrs. Bartlett where are you off too?" One reporter yelled.

"Malibu then London."

"Will the Governor be joining you?"

"Not this trip. State business keeps him very busy."

"Has the governor decided whether he will be firing Ryan Kilter from the board of education?"

"When the Governor has decided I'm sure he'll let you know." Several reporters threw out more questions, but Abby waved them off. "Sorry folks but the FAA keeps us on a pretty tight schedule. See you when I get home." Abby boarded the plane without looking back. She opened the curtain to cabin. CJ was sitting in a chair facing Abby with her eyes closed. The brunette pressed the button on the wall calling the attendant to the cabin.

"Yes ma'am."

"Tell Murphy we are ready to go." The young man turned to leave. "Also, I don't want to be disturbed for the rest of the flight."

"Yes ma'am." CJ opened one eye and peeked at Abby. Then shut her eyes tights trying her best to fight her smile.

"Claudia." Abby said seductively.

"Mmmm." CJ kept her eyes closed.

"Are you asleep?"

"Yes."

"That's too bad. I was going to let you finish collecting your reward." Abby undid her zipper and let the satin pool around her ankles. "But you're going to have open your eyes."

CJs eyes opened and nearly popped out of her head. CJ imagination did not do justice to the sight before her. Abby had on a lace bustier with garter. "Abby…"

"You like it. Its new."

"Oh I definitely like it." CJ tried to stand. She needed to touch it.

"Mmm Mmmm Claudia, you stay seated." Abby walked a few feet towards CJ. The brunette could smell her need. Abby placed her knee on one side of CJs thigh who reached out her hand to touch. "Keep your hands on the armrest. You don't get to touch me." She placed her other knee on the opposite side completely straddling CJ. "You are so beautiful."

Abby unbuttoned the dress kissing her way down the length of CJ's body. Taking off her underware, the brunette blew lightly on her clit. CJ arched into her mouth.

"Ugh… Please Abby."

"Someone's very ready. You want it slow, Claudia."

"No. Please Abby now."

"But you always like it slow."

CJ shook her head feverishly. Why was Abby talking? "Stop talking. Get to work."

"You are awful bossy. You're wish is my command." Abby made love to CJ with her mouth making her cum several times.

CJ panted, trying to regain her senses. "God Abby. Where the hell did you learn that thing with your tongue?"

"I picked up a book in New York last week. It said that it would drive your lover crazy. Obviously it was right."

"Reading is Fundamental." CJ pulled Abby to her; wrapping her legs around Abby's torso. "I've missed you. Hearing your voice on the phone has not been enough."

"Well you get to spend the next four weeks with me. We have quite a bit of travel ahead of us."

"I'm looking forward to it."

"Tell me about the launching of the new board." The past two years they had been building to this point. In the next few weeks, the foundation would announce that they would be adding a new board made up of medical experts.

The experts would come from a wide variety of fields and the primary focus would be an improvement of healthcare to the working poor. Abby was more excited about the shift than she originally thought she would be. When CJ had first presented her with the idea, she imagined that they would pick some sexy portion of medicine and make a mark.

However, being the Governor's wife had shifted her perspective. Everyday she met people that said all they wanted to do was go to work and feed their families. She saw people with diseases that had progressed beyond where it could be fixed all because they didn't have access. It broke her heart. Jed always told her he could only do so much. CJ finally told her she could do more because she had money and influence. If the problem was important to her then she can make it important to others.

Jed thought it was a great idea and was thrilled she had not chosen something that would not hurt him politically. More importantly he thought it was good that she had something she could be excited about. He cheered her on.

"So, when we arrive in London you will meet with the five new candidates for the board individually. Their membership will be put up for a vote at the next general meeting. However, now you are looking to see whether you will get along with them. Because contrary to what you think it is important that you interact well with them."

"I'm not sure its as important as you think."

"Its almost essential. This is your money Abby. You need people that are going to have enough integrity and respect for you and themselves that they can be honest when its necessary. If you don't like them it will show over time. And you will be less likely to listen to their ideas."

"These people are well respected in their fields."

"Them and countless others. All I am saying is that you are not rating them based on your assessment of their skills, but on whether you can interact well with them."

"The last time I hired someone I hired them not knowing whether we would interact well and that turned out for the best."

"You can't strike gold twice, so this time the meetings are necessary."

"Ok, Claudia. Personality interviews they will be then. Let's not talk about work anymore. So, I spoke with father at the party. He said Jamie filed for divorce."

"Yeah, I heard."

"How did you know?"

"Secretary rumor meal. Carol and Jamie's secretary have become lunch buds. They gossip about their bosses. Before you say anything, Carol has a gag order about anything concerning us personally. And I trust her."

"I just don't want what happened a year ago to happen again."

"It won't."

"So, what happened?"

"It seems that Monica has been sleeping with the tennis pro. Though Amber believes it has been coming for a while now."

"She's sleeping with Chase. Ewwwe. I guess there is no accounting for taste."

"Your mother is completely against the divorce and has told Jamie so. I think he feels trapped. Though he did meet with a lawyer and the papers were filed a few days ago. Who knows how long it will take."

"I should call him." Abby paused. She hadn't actually had a conversation with her brother in years. And they haven't spoken it almost 6 months. "Would calling him now seem like I am being a vulture?"

"I guess it depends on what you say when you pick-up the phone. He's your brother Abby. Arrange to have lunch with him. Talk to him. If it doesn't work at least you tried right."

"I will." She kissed CJ passionately. "I love you." Deeper this time.

Someone cleared their throat. "Excuse me ma'am." Abby looked up with a hostile stare. The attendant tried to find a place to hide. "Murphy wanted me to tell you that we will be landing soon."

"Thank you." Abby's voice had softened. "I guess that means we should dress."

"I don't wanna."

"Don't worry, you won't be dressed long."

"You are so baaaad." When they emerged from the plane they looked like two professional acquaintances.

"Have a good weekend ma'am."

"Thanks Murphy."

XXXX

Another long boring meeting and Abby's mind had begun to wander. CJ had left early that morning to spend time with Abigail. Abby wanted these meeting to end, but she had 1 more after the one she was in now. The candidate droned on and on. She decided to end it now.

"Thank you for your time Doctor I have another appointment in about ten minutes." She shook the doctor's hand and placed a check next to the name. So far all the candidates had been boring, but amiable enough that Abby was fine working with them. CJ didn't say she had to be entertained by them.

There was a knock at the door. Abby opened it to a woman. "Millicent Griffiths?" The woman nodded. Abby extended her hand. "Hi. I'm Abby Bartlett. Come in doctor." Abby stepped aside to let the doctor in. "Thank you for coming, can I get you some tea or coffee."

"Tea would be great thanks."

"How was your flight to London?" Because Abby had to be in London for foundation business CJ had arranged for all the candidates to meet her there.

"Good. I slept through most of it; I just came off of a 10 hour surgery."

"Your specialty is emergency medicine."

"Yes, ma'am. Well, its more trauma surgery. I've been practicing for about 15 years."

"Please, you can lay off the ma'am it makes me feel incredibly old. I'm Abby."

"Then I'm Millicent or Millie. I chose trauma for the rush. It was invigorating."

"Was?"

"Well, I have two sons and a daughter. My life is invigorating with just them, you know."

"Yes, I do. My two definitely keep me on my toes. How old are your children?"

"My twin boys are 13 and my daughter is 6. She was a surprise and the last good thing my ex-husband gave me. I am really excited about being asked to join the foundation's board."

"Our fund manager believes you have a unique perspective on patient care. And giving that you are a working single mom, I imagine you know what a lot of the patients' experience."

"Don't we all? Children are pretty unforgiving when it comes to your time. They can be all consuming in a good way. And anything we can do to make being a parent easier, I'm all for."

"That's why this is so important." They spent the next two hours talking. It wasn't until she heard the key turn the lock that she realized how long they had been talking.

"Abby, you should see what I bought. It's so freaking cool. Abigail thought it was smashing. Her words not mine." CJ stopped in her tracks when she saw Abby and Millicent sitting next to each other. "I'm sorry I didn't know you had a guest."

"Dr. Millicent Griffiths this is my fund manager Claudia Jean Cregg."

"It's a pleasure to finally put a face to voice Dr. Griffiths." CJ shook her hand. "I take it you two have been getting along."

"I didn't realize we had been speaking this long. Millie I'm going to have to say good-bye we are meeting my grandmother for dinner."

"No problem. Thanks so much for everything. It was certainly a pleasure to meet you. Both of you." They said their good-byes.

Abby removed her shirt and skirt moving towards the bedroom of the suite. "So what did you buy that Grandmother thought was smashing?"

"A cape. Its adorable. So you like Dr. Griffiths?"

"I do. We had a really goodtime talking. She's refreshing after four of the most boring human beings ever."

"I'm glad you liked her. She was top choice. Do you think you can work with the others?"

"Sure." Abby stepped in the shower. "Come wash my back."

XXXXX

CJ was looking forward to getting back into a normal routine after four weeks on the road. After leaving London, they went to Johannesburg and Hong Kong and many other cities. The foundation had taking on a few students that were into making new sounds with classic musical instruments and Abby had found a few students abroad who did the same thing. She thought it was important CJ heard them. Of course they were added to the list for cross cultural exchange.

They also did a lot of shopping and ate quite a bit of food. And CJ got a glimpse of Abby in full club gear. It was an eye opening experience. More than anything it was nice to just be a couple without having to worry about someone seeing. In some cities she could even hold the brunette's hand in public.

Now she was back at work preparing for the launch of the Foundation's new mission. She walked through the door of her office to see Toby sitting on her couch.

"You're awfully far away from the capital aren't you."

"Traveling with the Governor. We have a few speeches in town. He wanted to see Mrs. Bartlett. How was your trip?"

"Good. Productive."

"Tell me what kind of affect the foundations new program is going to have on his political career."

"It shouldn't have any."

"Come on CJ. I'm all about helping people, but she has a responsibility to the man she married. If this is going to hurt him you have at least let me prepare."

"The Governor is not concerned."

"Of course he's not that's what I'm paid for. She wants to help people, but think of the number of people that will go without help if we can't get him reelected."

"Don't you think you are getting a little ahead of yourself. Besides his ability to get reelected is your problem. Running the foundation is mine. And I will not compromise to make it easier for the Governor to get elected. If he has concerns he needs to talk to his wife."

"I can see that conversation. 'Dear I know this is important to you but can you change everything to suit me.'"

"Toby I don't know what you want me to say."

"Just tell me this new program isn't going to blow up in our faces."

"How about I will do everything in my power to make sure it doesn't blow-up in anyone's face. And if I think it is I will give you a heads up."

He popped m&ms on her desk into his mouth. "I missed these little chats we have while you were away."

"You missed my M&Ms."

"Yeah those too." Over the past two years, Toby and CJ had become really close. Some would even say friends, but neither had identified each other as that. Mostly they kept all the balls for Jed and Abby in the air.

"Get out. I have work to do."

XXXXX

Launching a new sub-board of directors was difficult when it meant changing the direction of the foundation. CJ had to cajole board members, holding hands thru the entire process. CJ looked down at the papers on her desk absentmindedly picking up the phone when it rang.

_CJ Cregg_

_Hey, Brooke whats up?_ CJ looked up from her work to smile. She hadn't talked to her sister in a while. _You're where?_ Silence. _Oh my God. I'm on my way_. "CAROL!"

"Yeah CJ." Carol said as she stuck her head in the door.

"Get me a car. And find out whether Abby is in her office."

"Sure CJ." CJ never had to say now to Carol she always did it now. A few minutes later she stuck her head in the door, "Mrs. Bartlett is here, and the car will be here in five minutes. Where should I tell them its going?"

"Airport." Carol closed the door after Abby walked in. "Hey love."

"You wanna have lunch," Abby asked.

"I would, but I am on my way to the airport."

"Escaping?"

"Ha. Funny. Brooke is here; at the airport with Hayden and Jac. I need to go get them."

"Oh. Did you know they were coming?"

"No, Abby if I did, I wouldn't be rushing around right now."CJ snapped.

"Ok, Claudia."

"Sorry. I don't mean to be snotty. I'll call you when I get back." CJ took Abby's hands, looking up to see if anyone was around. She kissed her softly on the mouth. "I really am sorry. Don't be mad."

"I forgive you. Go get your sister." CJ rushed out the door without another word.

XXXXX

CJ jumped out of the car and raced across the airport looking for baggage claim. She didn't have to look long before she saw Hayden.

"Hayden. Hayden." They hugged. "Hey you. Where's your mom?"

"She's over there." She pointed to Brooke and Jac standing in line for food. CJ grabbed Hayden's hand as they walked to her sister and niece.

"Scared that I wouldn't have food in my house?"

"We've met; I didn't want to take any chances and the food on the flight was awful." They hugged and CJ hugged her niece.

"Your right you shouldn't. Cause I don't have food. But I do have access to a chef who makes these killer brownies. We'll call home from the car." The four of them headed out of the airport to the waiting limo. "So, sis. What's up with the impromptu visit."

"Why can't I visit my sister without getting the 3rd degree?"

"If I knew you were coming I would have gotten the info from Mom and spared you this portion of the conversation." Brooke looked away, avoiding CJs eyes. "Does Mom know you're here?"

"Yes. She knew I was coming; she didn't know with Jac and Hayden. Can we talk about this later?"

"Oh we will definitely talk about it later." CJ wondered why her sister was here. And what was she hiding from their mother.

XXXXX

Abby emerged from the board meeting none the worse for wear. The board took the new announcement well and set-up a schedule to meet with the new candidate, who attended the meeting for an initial introduction. Abby stopped Millicent in the hall to chat. Jamie approached. He had been staring at Millicent the entire meeting and needed to meet her.

"Jamie I'd like you to meet Dr. Millicent Griffiths. Millie this is my brother James Barrington the IV and COO of Barrington Corporation."

"Hello, Dr. Griffiths. Abby speaks very highly of you." She had an amazing smile, James noticed. He pulled his hand out of the shake quickly, once he realized how long he had been holding it. 'She's gonna think I'm a dork,' Jamie said to himself.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Barrington. My sons are obsessed with your newly released video game." At Jamie's suggestion, Barrington Company had ventured into video game production about 15 years ago. Since then they had released quite a few top sellers.

"Well I am always glad to hear about a satisfied customer. Maybe they would like to product test the next one." Jamie reached in his briefcase and removed a disc. "They can email me their feedback."

"I hope its good cause they can be brutal."

"Then I hope its good as well." He couldn't wipe the goofy look off his face. Abby raised her hand to cover her smile. She'd never seen Jamie like this.

"Millie, Jamie and I were just heading to lunch would you like to join us."

"No thanks. I have to get back to the hospital. I'll talk to you later Abby. It was nice meeting you Mr. Barrington and thanks for the game."They both watched as she walked away.

XXXXX

"Can you bring me water and the chopped salad?" Abby ordered. "He'll have the NY strip medium, broccoli and mashed potatoes." She smiled up at the blushing young waiter.

"Considering I'm not 4 Abby, I can order my own food."

"Yes James you could, but then you would have ended up ordering a double order of mash potatoes. You need vegetables."

"Have you always been this controlling?"

"Of course I have Jamie. Isn't that what mother always says."

"I see we have gotten to the real reason you invited me to lunch."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I know you and mother are close. I don't want to come between that. I just wanted to see if you and I could be friends."

"What happened to us Abby? When we were kids we did everything together. How did we become enemies?"

"We let people convince us that we were each other's enemy."

"Can you refrain from attacking mother?"

"I'm not, I swear. I would love to blame it all on her. But the reality is she wasn't the only one. We just have to find a way to put it behind us. Can we move past all that's come before?"

Jamie took a deep breath. "I'm sure you heard that Monica and I are divorcing." Abby nodded. "How do you do it Abby? How do you and Jed make your marriage work given your situation?"

"We're always honest with each other. And sometimes the truth hurts."

"I never had that. I married a woman who was more interested in being a Barrington than she was being with me. Did you know Dad and I gave up our salaries when the company was experiencing some financing problems so we wouldn't have fire employees?"

"Yeah Daddy told me. He was proud that you suggested it."

"Well Monica flipped. And she told me that she spent all the money in our joint account as well as her private account. She has maxed out every single credit card we had. I am 2 million in debt thanks to her."

"I'm sorry."

"She's been taking birth control. She doesn't want to have children." He shook his head fighting back tears. "Its all I ever wanted. She doesn't think we would make very good parents. So, instead of having a conversation with me she just took birth control. Since, the day we got married. I've been for test. She even went to the doctor's appointments I set-up for her, and lied to me after every single appointment. She even said she didn't want to consider adoption because she wanted her own children."

"Oh Jamie. I'm so sorry. You would make a wonderful parent. You are so good with Zoey and Cullen." They sat in silence holding each other's hand.

"Do you know what its like to be lied to? Is this how Jed felt when you told him about your fund manager?"

"Her name is Claudia or CJ. And I never had to lie to Jed about how I felt. He knew before I did and told me to do something about it even before I was ready to admit it to myself. When I said we were honest, I was serious."

"How did you find that? I want it more than anything?"

"You'll find it. I know you will." She considered whether to say the next part. "If you like I can help you pay off the debt. I can talk to Jed about the amount I can give you immediately. But I can pull the rest out of my trust."

"No, Abby, I have the money. My lawyer has advised me not pay any of it until the divorce is final, or at least the separation goes through. We're going to sell the house."

"If you need anything please don't hesitate."

"Thanks, Abby. It means a lot. Your support means a lot. So, tell me about the fund… CJ."

"She's a great fund manager. For the first time in a long time I am excited about going to work. We have definitely taking things to the next level."

"That's great Abby. But I meant her. The person that has put that smile on your face."

"She's amazing. Funny, smart, sexy. And very very good with her hands."

Jamie held up his hands in protest. "OK you can stop now. I thought it would fulfill some fantasy, but it's disgusting imagining your sister having sex. With anyone." Abby laughed at him.

"Wuss. She makes me very happy." They finished their lunch chatting; hopeful about their future as siblings.


	2. Chapter 2

"This is a mediation. Mr. and Mrs. James Barrington the IV have come here today to discuss the issues of dissolution of their marriage. The parties have agreed to the topics of the meditation. Do we have any additions from either side?" the mediator said.

Monica sat covered in black doing her best to look like the wounded party, Jamie wanted to be anywhere but here. Monica said no, but Jamie spoke up.

"I would like her to drop Barrington from her name."

"Of course Mr. Barrington we will add that to the discussion. We shall proceed. The issues for discussion are the joint property and personal property of the home on 623 Smith Avenue and the vacation home in Massachusetts, the $2,306,456.84 in credit and other debt owed by both parties, and a requested settlement for Mrs. Barrington in the amount of 7.2 million dollars." Jamie head shot up.

"You want $7.2 million of my money. Are you crazy?"

"Mr. Barrington we will come to that matter. Why don't we start with the houses?" The mediator had been in enough of these situations to know that it was better to work your way up to the points of contention. He shuffled some papers and began.

"First, both parties have agreed to the sell the property on Smith Avenue. It has been appraised at $1.15 million. There are two mortgages on the house one in the amount of $450,000 and a second in the amount of $315,795. If sold, the proceeds of the sale will first be applied to the mortgages and the remainder will be split amongst the parties. Is that agreeable?"

"Of Course," Monica said.

"I would like the proceeds to be applied to the 2 million in credit card debt," Jamie said.

"You're going to quibble over a few 100 thousand dollars. I worked hard on that house I deserve my share."

"You spent your share when ran up 2 million in credit cards."

"It was your responsibility to take care of those things."

"And it was your responsibility to keep your legs shut so I guess we both failed."

"Let's please get back to the task at hand. Mrs. Barrington it's not a bad idea if the proceeds from the house be applied to the debt."

"Please! Jamie has more than enough money to cover the debt; he is just being cantankerous."

"Why don't we put the issue of proceeds aside for the moment. We have agreed to sell the property?"

"Yes," they said.

The mediator moved on having virtually the same back and forth over every single topic. In the end both properties were sold having the proceeds applied to the debt, Monica agreed to drop Barrington from her name for the low amount of 1.3 million dollars and Jamie agreed to pay the rest of the debt, purchase Monica an apartment and pay her 4.6 million dollars. The money barely touched his personal worth, but to get rid of Monica it was worth every penny.

They would sign the divorce papers at the end of the week.

XXXXXX

Jamie had been coming to this coffee shop for a few months now. The first time he needed a place to escape. He wondered in here looking for a place to clear the chaos of this brain; after having a rather rough session seeing Monica.

She was in rare form; using it as an opportunity to list all of his flaws. He still couldn't imagine he had been married to her for ten years and never realized the ugliness.

The first time here he did not notice that there were children until the end. Once he did, he ran from the shop resigned to the fact that there was no solace anywhere. A few days later, he challenged himself to come inside to see if Monica was actually right. If he couldn't actually stand to be in the same room with children maybe he shouldn't be a parent.

Today he signed the divorce papers so he came here to think about his future. He loved to see the kids with their parents. And silently longed to be sitting here enjoying a cup of coffee with a woman he loved more than anything. A woman who wanted exactly what he wanted. Not for the first time in his life he envied Abby her happiness.

He glanced up from his newspaper. At first glance he didn't notice her, then suddenly he did. She was perfect even in medical scrubs. She leaned over to talk to the little girl holding her hand. She turned to address the boys having a slap fight behind her and then addressed the barista. After she placed her order and received it from the counter she balanced pastries and two cups, looking around for a table in the crowded shop. Jamie took a chance.

"Dr. Griffiths. Dr. Griffiths," he said. She looked up at him a little confused. "Hi, Jamie Barrington. Abby's brother." He reached to shake her hand.

"Oh. Hey. How are you?" She raised her arm as if about to shake his hand but thought better of it. "I would shake your hand but mine are kinda full." She looked over her shoulder, "Luke, Dillon, quit playing."

"Yeah I noticed. I was just going to say if you wanted to join me, most of my table is free."

"Oh thanks that would be great." She smiled at him as she made her way to the table. "Come on Sugar," she addressed the little girl who was dutifully at her side. "Boys come sit down." They all sat down. "Mr. Barrington these are my children. Luke, Dillon and Brynn. Kids this is Mr. Barrington. Remember the man who gave me the video game for you." That launched the boys into a fifteen minute rendition of its pros and cons of the game.

"So, how are you enjoying being on the foundation's board Dr. Griffiths?" when he said that the boys picked up their handheld games and buried themselves in it.

"It's a lot of fun. More fun than I thought it would be. Its different from what I do every day, so, that's rewarding." They talked for about a half hour more before the kids started to get restless.

"Ummm... maybe we could do this again sometime, maybe dinner." Jamie was startled that he even asked.

"Sure anytime."

"Are you asking my Mom on a date?" Luke drawled a little protectively.

"Luke don't be silly."

"Actually I was." Luke stuck his tongue out at his mother.

"See I told you."

"Sorry. I didn't expect… I would love that. Let me give you my number." She grabbed the pin in her pocket and wrote her number on his paper. "See ya, Mr. Barrington." She left. When he looked down at his paper, it had her number and a note that said 'call me Millie.' He swooned a little bit.

XXXX

It had taken a few days, but Jamie had finally used the number. Now, he was standing at her front door waiting for 8pm before he knocked. Before he had a chance to, someone opened the door. He looked down to see Brynn.

"Hi, is your mommy home?" She nodded. "Can you tell her Jamie is here?" She ran into the house leaving the door open. He entered as Millicent came out of the kitchen. She smiled warmly at him. She looked good even in jeans and a sweater.

"Brynn, you know you aren't supposed to answer the door. Hey Jamie, how are you?"

"Good. You?" She took the flowers he held out to her.

"Not so good. I meant to call, but I am going to have to cancel." Before she could say more a man walked from the kitchen.

"Millie, I really don't have all day." Millicent rolled her eyes.

"Jamie this is David, my ex-husband. David was going to give me a minute to explain why I can't go out tonight."

"It's ok," Jamie said. "I understand." He backed away from the door. She reached out and grabbed his hand.

"No, wait." She turned to David. "If you don't mind I need a minute." She waited for David to leave. "Jamie, I'm really sorry. I meant to call, but Brynn has the chicken pox. They were all supposed to go to their father's, but his wife is afraid that the boys may be carriers, even though I have assured her they aren't. She doesn't want her kids to get them. But what would I know, I only have a medical degree. My parents are out of town and my sister is sick. So, my plans – our plans - are ruined. I am really really sorry."

"I understand. Maybe we can try again later."

"I certainly hope so. I am really really sorry." She looked rather disappointed. Jamie turned to leave then had an epiphany.

"We technically don't have to cancel." Millicent quirked an eyebrow. Jamie continued. "I could go grab a pizza and some movies and ice cream for sundaes."

"Have you had the chicken pox before?"

"Yes, when I was six. I gave them to Abby, she still won't let me live it down."

"You are willing to spend our first date with three children in my messy house."

"Yeah, sure."

"If this doesn't send you running for the hills nothing will. Ok fine. I'll go get rid of David. You should know this family eats about two large to two x-large pizzas in a sitting. I have teenage boys," she said apologetically. "And I like caramel and chocolate sauce on my sundae. Don't worry about the movie we'll let the kids fight over one of the ones I got yesterday." Jamie left and Millicent thought for the first time that he may be the perfect guy.

XXX

Abby sat on the couch in CJs office. This wasn't unusual, but CJ was concerned about the look on her face.

"What are you thinking about?" CJ asked.

"You pregnant."

"What? Why?"

"I think you would look beautiful pregnant."

"Neither of us will ever know, so it kinda doesn't matter."

"You don't want children? You're so good with Jac and Hayden."

"I love my nieces, but I'm not exactly in a position where I could have any."

"You could if you wanted to."

"If wanting made it so."

"Claudia be serious."

"I can't believe you're serious Abby. You act like we are in a place to start and raise a family."

"I didn't think about it like that."

"You wanted me to have a child and take care of it without you."

"I don't know what I thought. I was just thinking how you would look pregnant."

"Ok." Abby looked dejected and CJ felt bad.

XXXXX

Jamie returned to Millicent's with pizza and ice cream and all the fixings. As soon as he sat the pizzas down on the counter in the kitchen, the boys ravaged them.

For a second Jamie imagined what it would feel like if this was his family. He felt a wave a sadness that he stamped down immediately. He just wanted to enjoy himself. The boys won the movie war and they watched _Transformers._ About half way through the movie, Millicent leaned over and whispered in Jamie's ear, "How about coffee?"

She stood from the couch and he followed her into the kitchen.

"So, is this a typical Friday night for you?"

"What having coffee at 9pm?" She started the coffee maker.

"No, kids, pizza and movies."

"Mostly. Usually their friends are here, but they weren't supposed to here so its just us. You have any children?" Millicent knew he was divorced, but from the few conversations they had she hadn't heard anything about children.

"No."

"Didn't want any?"

"I haven't met the right woman yet." He smiled a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. She held his gaze, "It was a source of contention for Monica and me. I wanted them and apparently she didn't"

"Oh. I'm sorry." He shrugged. "Can I be upfront with you for a second?"

"Sure."

"I've only dated a little since I divorced. I chalked it up to being busy with work and kids, but most men I date are intimidated by my profession or my children. I just want you to know that they are both a part of who I am. And its not going to change."

"I didn't think they were. You're being a doctor is kinda sexy…" She cut him off.

"That's cause you haven't seen me on the other side of a 25 hour shift."

"Maybe not. But I suspect you are still sexy. Its also very refreshing. Its nice to be with someone that has their own life. And you're kids are great. I'm looking forward to getting to know them." She poured coffee. "So, are you from here?"

"No, Atlanta. I moved here at the end of my residency and then my entire family followed."

"You moved your entire family here?"

"Not exactly, my sister enrolled at the university so she could save on loans by living with David and me. She met her husband there; he was football player. So, she stayed. And once she had her first child my parents moved. When I divorced I bought this house, my parents bought the house at the end of the street. Lexy, my sister, lives two streets over."

"You're close."

"Yes, very. It's also helpful, cause the kids get off the bus and go to my parents. You know how it is?"

"No not really. Abby and I aren't super close. My dad and I both work are workaholics; so, there isn't a lot of family togetherness."

"I have more than enough for both of us." She kissed him. He kissed her back reveling in the softness of her lips. She pulled back. "Now that is a way to get the first kiss over with."

"It is." He smiled. "How about we eat some of that ice cream?"

"Sure ok." She pushed the kitchen door open. "Pause the movie we're going to have sundaes." The boys didn't have to be told twice.

The rest of the evening went well. Ending with another kiss at the door.

XXXXX

CJ sat on the bed with her work spread around her. She didn't look up when Brooke came in. CJ had been cranky at dinner and she retreated to her room for some solace.

"Are you still in a bad mood?" Brooke sitting on the bed.

"Kinda."

"Do we need to go to a movie so you can get some?"

CJ laughed. Leave it to Brooke to assume that everything comes down to sex. "Let it be Brooke."

"I'm just saying. Having three extra people around would cramp anybodies style especially when one of them is sharing your bed."

"I love having you guys here." CJ closed her eyes. "But I miss Abby. And earlier we had a thing. Usually we would hold each other and all of the stress disappears."

"I get that. I just can't go back there now. I'm sure we could check into a hotel or something."

"Whats going on at home?"

"I feel stagnant you know. I've been living off of Mom and Dad since Hayden was 2. I needed to be somewhere else to figure out what I want to do."

"Have you figured it out?"

"I'm leaning towards school. Maybe culinary school. I thought maybe I should do something noble, like help battered women. Or like what you do. But I think I would be miserable."

"Then go to culinary school. You do have Mom's kitchen goddess abilities. I make basics and they taste basic. You make basics and its freaking nirvana."

"I can't just go to school I have a daughter."

"Is that what she is?" CJ wiggled her eyebrows. "I can help you out. Maybe buy a house."

"CJ you can't do that."

"I can. Its not like I pay rent here. And you and Abby can fight over how to decorate it. If she's interested in decorating it that is."

"What was your thing about?"

"Nothing."

"Ok let's assume that I believed that. Why don't you tell me what happened?"

"We were in my office working. She wants me to be pregnant."

"She wants to have children?"

"I don't know. She said I would look beautiful pregnant."

"You don't want kids."

"Brooke I am sleeping with a married woman. I can't have children."

"Because she's married or because you don't want them?"

"I never thought… I stopped wanting them when I fell in love with Abby."

"I doubt that." CJ began to correct her. "Remember me, I was the girl in the bed next to you. You used to set your dolls up in little families with you as the mommy. Even when you told me you were in love with Cynthia Fields, you wanted to have children with her. I know you CJ. Why have you written children off?"

"I always imagined that I would meet someone and we would buy a house and have children. She already has two. And I want them with her. Its ridiculous. I want to go through the experience with her. But that's not my reality. So, I've stopped wanting it."

"CJ you could do it alone. I know its not ideal, but why deny yourself something you want?"

"Because I want our son to have her eyes and our daughter to have her smile. Is that ridiculous?"

"No but you need to talk to her."

"I know, but I want to bury myself in my work right now."

"OK, I'm going to push the girls over and hang out on the couch. I love you sis. Don't bury yourself very long."


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey Carol, I'm leaving."

"You can't," Carol looked nervous. "Ummm…. You have to review the board report before you head out."

"I did that. I take it you haven't checked your email; the changes I need made are outlined. Make sure you hit those clarifications as well." CJ began putting some items in her briefcase. Maybe Carol was just having an off day.

"CJ you can't leave."

"Carol what the hell is wrong with you?" The secretary played with the hem of her shirt looking for something to say. "Carol!" CJ said impatiently.

"Abby called down. She wanted me to keep you here until 6pm." They both looked at the clock. "You have four minutes."

"Did she want to see me because I can head to her office?"

"No, she said you couldn't leave until 6. I don't know what she's planning, but she was insistent on you being in your office. And I wasn't supposed to tell you."

"Ok Carol. I'll wait. But I'm leaving at six." Carol noticed a change in CJ over the last few weeks. She seemed less herself and a little depressed. Carol was actually concerned. She hoped Abby got here soon. She left, closing the door behind her.

CJ sat down and laid her head on her desk. She was out of fight. Jac would be with them a few more weeks, then Brooke would move into the room with Hayden. Abby had pulled strings and got Hayden into the same school that Zoey attended.

Every day the barn felt smaller and smaller. She loved her sister and nieces, but she felt trapped. It was even worse that she hadn't seen Abby in all that time.

These days Abby split her responsibilities between the governor's mansion and the face of Barrington Company. It had become difficult for CJ to see Abby outside of work. And waiting for her now, in the office, was not her idea of a good time. She looked at the clock it said 6pm. She grabbed her coat and briefcase and headed out the door.

"See ya tomorrow, Carol." She breezed pass Carol and headed towards the elevator to press the button several times impatiently. Usually CJ would have waited for Abby. Even called her at 6 to see what was up. All she wanted to do now was go home and get in bed. She was spent.

A car was waiting by the curb. CJ ignored it; walking past it to hail herself a cab. As a cab pulled up to the curb behind the black sedan, the door to the sedan opened.

"Excuse me ma'am. The car is waiting for you." CJ looked at the driver. The man was not Abby's regular chauffeur and that made CJ annoyed and nervous at the same time.

"Where does she want you to take me?"

"Home ma'am. I have strict instructions to take you directly home." CJ was happy to hear that. Once she was home she could talk Abby out of whatever else she had planned. CJ climbed in the car, closing her eyes wishing that the 25 minute drive wouldn't feel like forever.

She must have fallen asleep because the next thing she knew they were pulling into driveway. The driver stopped in front of the barn. She didn't wait for him to open the car door she got out and walked into the barn.

The furniture had been pushed against the walls. Every surface was covered in candles illuminating the entire room. In the middle of the room was a massage table and a masseuse. The masseuse stepped forward and handed her a note.

_Zoey, Jac and Hayden are spending the night watching movies and hanging out all night. They will not be back. Brooke has gone to Ohio for the weekend. This is for you. Relax and enjoy. If you need me I'll be home all night. Love, Abby._

CJ wiped her eyes. How did Abby always know what she needed. "Should I shower before the massage?"

"Yes. If you will wrap yourself in this towel, I'll be here when you're ready. Would you like a glass of wine?" The masseuse poured CJ a glass of red wine.

She took a sip. "Mmmm. Malbec." Abby definitely knew what she liked.

CJ went upstairs, showered and returned downstairs. She fell asleep on the table during the massage. When masseuse woke her up, she felt relaxed.

"You'll want to drink plenty of water. Have a good night." CJ laid on the table while he left. It took her a few minutes, but she finally got up. Pouring herself another glass of wine she looked around the refrigerator for the chicken salad Brooke had made the night before. As she stood at the counter spooning out salad with crackers, Abby walked in.

"Hey, can I come in?"

"It's your barn."

Abby decided not to take the bait. "I just wanted to see you." CJ didn't respond. The distance between them was more than the 25 feet from the door to the counter. "I know it has been strained between us recently. And I guess it's my fault."

"Not everything is your cross to bear."

"Ok," Abby waited a beat. "About the pregnancy idea, I shouldn't have said anything. I'm sorry. I was thinking it and did not fully work out the consequences. It was insensitive."

CJ took a deep breath. "It was what you were thinking. You are entitled to think it. It was just more than I could handle."

Abby rushed to CJ's side brushing the tears in her eyes away. "I'm so sorry baby."

"It's not about you and it is about you. I love you Abby. And I want kids so bad. But this is not normal. You made me realize that its sooo not normal. I'm your kept mistress. I live in your house and if we broke up I would lose everything. It's a hard reality to bear."

"You're not kept."

"Abby I live on your property in your barn. I don't pay any bills or contribute."

"You want me to charge you rent. What would that change? It's not like I need the money."

CJ shook her head. "It doesn't matter."

"It does when you won't look me in the eye. Please talk to me Claudia."

"I want children. I want them with you, and until a few weeks ago I didn't have to admit to myself that it wasn't possible."

"I didn't know you wanted children."

"We didn't have the typical dating portion where we would have talked about these things."

"We jumped in head first. I guess I assumed we had worked out the difficult parts."

"Yeah me too."

"There is nothing I want more than for you to be happy. I want to talk about everything. I want to know how you feel, because when you hurt it breaks my heart. I don't know if we can have everything, but I want to try to give it to you." 

XXXXX

Since their first date Millicent and Jamie saw each other as much as possible. Jamie traveled a lot for work, so the actual seeing each other was harder than they originally thought. Jamie called Millicent at least once a day no matter what time zone he was in.

They had an easiness with each other. Jamie told Millicent things that he never shared with anyone. She made him laugh with her bawdy jokes. He was falling in love that he was most certain of.

Tonight, they were going to the Foundation's annual ball. Jamie had been to the past three at his father's insistence. But his mother's ousting by Abby a few years before made it his least favorite event. When Millicent asked him to accompany her, he wanted to say no at first. He didn't want Millicent to have a bad time because he was in a bad mood. Now, he knew his nervousness was silly. Being with Millicent was always fun.

He adjusted his tie and climed out of the car. Were his palms actually sweaty?

"It's a limo," Brynn screamed from her mother's bedroom window.

"What?" Millicent's mother and sister ran to the window to get a look at the car.

"He's so handsome." Millicent's mother, Dora, said.

"Would y'all get away from the window, he could see you. How do I look?" Millicent spun around as she heard the door bell ring. She wore a magenta gown with an empire waste. "I should head downstairs."

"Wait a few minutes its good to keep a suitor waiting. Besides your father's down there." Millicent rolled her eyes.

"Mom, I'm not 16, dad doesn't get to clear my dates."

"Mommy, you look pretty."

"Thanks Sugar." Millicent said as she leaned over to kiss Brynn. "Be good for grandma and grandpa."

She left the room and headed downstairs.

XXXXX Meanwhile downstairs…

Millicent's father opened the door. Jamie kept his smile in place. He knew when he was being sized up. "Hello Sir, I'm James Barrington. I am Mill… Dr. Griffiths escort to the ball."

"Yes, yes come in. I am George Monroe, Millicent's father. She's still dressing." George ushered Jamie into the living room. "Have a seat. Can I offer you a drink?" Jamie looked around and saw a paper and a glass of clear liquid on the table. He played it safe.

"I'll have whatever you're having sir."

"That would be water." Jamie nodded and George retrieved some water for him. "So, this is your ball you've invited my daughter to."

"No, actually it's my sister's - Abby." Jamie swallowed. "She runs the foundation that Dr. Griffiths sits on the board of. Your daughter has been gracious enough to let me escort her." Of course George knew this because Millicent had explained it to him. But being a father meant he got the pleasure of watching a man squirm.

"So, are you driving?"

"No sir; I hired a car."

Millicent came downstairs at this point. "Daddy you can stop grilling him."

"Wow Millicent… you look amazing."

"Thanks Jamie. Are you ready to go?"

"Wait wait let me get a picture," Dora said.

"Mom this is not prom." Dora rustled around in her bag for her camera. Millicent looked at her father with a save me look. He shrugged in a defeatist manner. "Ok one quick picture." They posed for a picture.

"Make sure your home at eleven."

Millicent rolled her eyes, "Dad I no longer have a curfew. But we won't be late." She kissed her parents and they left.

As they drove away Millicent said, "That was absolutely mortifying."

"It was certainly different. Very quaint."

"You just never expect your parents to do that when your 40."

"I only thought parents did that on TV."

"Are you serious?" She looked at him incredulously. "Are you telling me you never went through that as a teenager?"

"No I didn't. Most girls' parents didn't feel the need to grill me. I think maybe Dad did it to Jed when he asked to marry Abby, but its not exactly something that happens when you are a Barrington."

"Seriously?"

"When I was a teenager girls threw themselves at me."

"Conceited much," Millicent poked him in the ribs and laughed.

"Not conceit - truth. Being Mrs. James Barrington the IV carries a lot of weight. Its pretty prestigious." Millicent was laughing really hard. "Fine laugh at me." Jamie looked away in mock disgust. "I'm glad you find that so funny."

"I'm sorry you just said it with such pomp. Its kinda cute. Did I hurt your feelings?"

"No. You bruised my family pride a little bit."

"What can I do to make it up to you?"

"I don't know." Jamie pouted, Millicent tilted her head up and kissed him. "Oh you are going to have to do better than that." Millicent kissed him more passionately. "Let's skip the party and run away."

"You want to make it to third base without even given me dinner. What type of girl do you think I am?"

"A beautiful one."

"Awe. We still have to go to the party."

"Damn." Jamie took a deep breath. "I have been putting off telling you something."

"Your ex-wife is going to be at the ball."

Jamie looked confused. "Yes. How did you know?"

"Abby told me. 'She weaseled her way in,' Abby's words not mine. I can handle anything she can throw out."

"That's good. But that's not what I was going to tell you. My mother is going to be there. Thanks to me, Jed and CJ, Abby and my mother have brokered a truce. She knows I am bringing you as a date. She is not happy about the divorce. I hope that she won't say anything but I can't guarantee it. I wanted to warn you. I will do my best to shield you."

"You brokered a truce? One day you are going to have to tell me the story. I'll be fine."

"I love my mother very much. But she can be a hand full. I just wanted to warn you."

"I appreciate the warning."

They arrived at the ball. Millicent joined the receiving line. He went to the bar.

"Scotch rocks," the bartender poured his drink.

"Hello Jamie."

"Mother," he leaned over and kissed his mother's cheek. "How are you?"

"Abby has certainly catered to the lower class hasn't she?"

"Mother you promised to try."

"I did." Elizabeth looked across the room at her daughter in the line. She hadn't seen Abby in over two years ago; at this very event. She had almost stayed home tonight, but she missed her daughter. She missed her grandchildren.

"I saw Monica."

"Yippee." Jamie drained his glass and singled for another.

"She looks like a fool hanging all over Charles Keen. She was a small blip on your screen. No need to worry yourself with her."

"I just hope she won't create a scene."

"She won't."

"Hey," Millicent said as she came up behind Elizabeth. Jamie broke into the biggest smile. "I've never shook more hands in my life."

"Let me get you a drink. Millicent this is my mother. Elizabeth Barrington. Mother this is Dr. Millicent Griffiths." Millicent smiled warmly despite the cold stare that Elizabeth gave her.

"Its nice to meet you Mrs. Barrington."

"Dr. Griffiths. Jamie I see someone I know if you'll excuse me." Elizabeth made her way to the other side of the room.

"She doesn't like me."

"Don't worry about it. It's a tense night for her. Let's dance." He pulled her close as he led her out to the ballroom. She fit perfectly in his arms.

"You're very good at this."

"Five years of ballroom classes. Are you impressed?"

"Not really." She teased.

"Well, let me show what I can do." He spun her around the room as she threw her head back and laughed.

"Ok. Ok. I'm impressed. Can we get something to eat? I'm starving." Jamie grabbed Millicent a martini. Then he snuck into the kitchen and piled a plate full of food. "You are entirely to practiced at that.

"When I was a teenager, I attended a lot of formal functions. We'd steal a plate of food and sneak out to a hotel room. Or someone's car."

"You lured girls away with food."

"Sometimes." She chuckled. Bit by bit she learned little tidbits about him. She enjoyed the mystery.

"Your mother doesn't like me."

"She's protective."

"I get that. I'm already prepared to dislike whoever Dillon or Luke bring home."

"Hey don't worry about it. She'll come around. Let's just have a goodtime."

Across the room Elizabeth observed Millicent and Jamie. He looked happy. When she had spoken to him last he sounded happier. She knew that Millicent Griffiths was the cause of that. When Jamie had married Monica he warned him that she was golddigger. She'd done her best to protect her son. Even going as far as aligning herself with Monica. It was a necessary tactic to keep her son safe.

She would do no less with Millicent. Of course Elizabeth had already checked her out. Three children and a middle management ex-husband with a seemingly dimwitted wife. She needed to know what this woman was after. Jamie would not be hurt again.

XXXXX

It was their first time. And Jamie was looking forward to spending the day with Millicent. He had never been so comfortable with anyone before. He climbed out of bed excited to make her breakfast.

He made his way downstairs and dug around her in the kitchen for food. Jamie had learned to cook in college. Much to his mother's surprise and chargrin he decided to live in an apartment with a few of his frat brothers. He taught himself some simple dishes when he got tired of eating take-out. He rarely cooked anymore, but this felt like something he wanted to do every day.

He turned at the sound of footsteps. He smiled and poured her a cup of coffee. "It took me a while, but I figured out how to work your coffee maker."

"Its not that sophisticated." She smiled and leaned over him. "Is this something I shouldn't get used to? Because its been a long time since a man has cooked for me. A really long time, I think my Dad cooked for me once when my mother was sick. And that was the last time."

"I'll cook whenever you want." He kissed her.

"Imma hold you to that." They kissed more. Jamie walked her back towards the counter, lifting her onto the center island. The front door slammed. "What the hell?" Millicent said.

A moment later: "MOM!" Dillon yelled. The kitchen door swung open. "Mom, can I have some cereal?" Dillon either didn't care or notice that his mother was sitting on the counter in her robe with Jamie shirtless in between her legs.

"What are you doing here?" Millicent asked.

"Dad dropped us off." In quick succession Luke and Brynn came in followed by David and Page, David's wife. Jamie took a step back while Millicent hoped off the counter. She eyed David.

"Before you say anything. We have to take Page's mother home and I didn't want to be late getting them back tomorrow."

"So, instead of calling me and seeing if I had other plans you thought you would just drop your children off to an empty house." Millicent was fuming. "What if I hadn't been here what would you do then? Left them to fend for themselves?"

"Well, I didn't expect you to have a half naked man in the kitchen. I'm not sure its appropriate to have this type of behavior around the children."

"You pompous son of a bitch." Millicent approached him aggressively and Jamie cut her off.

"Hey why don't you go sit in the living room while we make breakfast." He pleaded with Millicent. She walked around him and opened the kitchen door for David and Page to pass. Jamie gave each of the kids an assignment which allowed him to expand his two person breakfast to a five person breakfast.

Once in the dining room Millicent said to David. "You are supposed to have your children from 4pm on Friday until 3pm on Sunday every other weekend. That's the agreement you wanted. Otherwise I let you live your life. These last few weekends you have had them barely that amount of time."

"At least I don't hand them off to a babysitter every time I have them."

"We're not going to do this. I can no longer do this with you. Is the agreement still working for you cause if you don't want them at all; let me know. But you occasionally dipping your feet in the parental pond is no longer working for me."

"I think you are overreacting."

"Of course you do."

"You're treating David like he's not a good father is unfair and so typical of you Millicent." Page chimed in.

"You're right; in order to be a father he would at least have to be present and we all know he's not."

"Screw you Millie. Just because this new boyfriend isn't satisfying you, its no reason to take it out on me."

"You're an ass. And I can't deal with this anymore. You have to see your mother that's fine. Leave." David went to say something else and Millicent put up her hand. "Get out of my house both of you." They both retreated.

Millicent put her head in her hands. She couldn't keep fighting this battle with him. She couldn't want him to be a parent more than he wanted it. She wasn't sure she could keep putting her children through this. Jamie came out of the kitchen. And sat down next her to rub her back.

"You ok."

"Yeah. I can't believe he produced my children. Jamie my life is complicated."

"Because you have a crazy ex-husband."

"I come as an instant family."

"I get that. You should know though that I am falling in love with you. And I would like to get to know your children better. I can respect any boundaries you put in place. But I plan on being around for a while."

"I guess at some point you are going to have to spend time with them."

"Ok. So instead of my plans to ravish you for the rest of the day, we mix it up. Abby and Jed are in town. And I was kinda expected to come over today and hang out with them and the children. So, why don't we all go? Jed is firing up the grill and there's a pool. They'll love it."

She cupped his face. "How did I get so lucky?"

"You're not so bad yourself."They kissed.

XXXX 

"Abby you should slip on your glasses; your eyes keep wandering." Jed said as he walked up to her.

"I can't help it." She slipped on her shades. "It's a very bad habit that I don't think I will be breaking."

"Did you buy her that bikini?"

"Nope. Supposedly Brooke picked it out."

"Its like a present for all of us."

"Jackass." CJ had on a snug blue bikini. For a bikini it was conservative in that it had boy shorts, the top left very little to the imagination. It made Abby wish that this was a private pool party.

"Thanks for allowing the photographers to take some shots."

"Were they fine with the pictures?"

"Yeah sure. You know pictures at home with the governor and his family. Important for image and everything."

"Its not a problem. I just don't want every family event to turn into a photo shoot."

"It won't Abby. I promise."

"Good. Brooke's cute."

"Isn't one sister enough for you? How long is she here?" Brooke had come into town almost a month ago.

"Claudia's not sure. They will be moving here."

"In the barn?"

"We'd have to add on. That is not enough space for three women."

"Just three?"

"Jac is leaving in a few days. Its been fun having them here. And I think it has been good for Zoey. I'm not sure how we are going to separate those three."

"Does Jac and Hayden know about you and CJ?"

"No, at least I don't think so. Do you think we should tell Zoey?"

"What? that her mother's a lesbian or that her lover lives right next door?"

"Ok maybe not that. I just don't want her to randomly find out."

"I have to imagine it's a tough conversation to have and hear. I think maybe she's a bit too young to understand."

"Hey, can we crash your party?" Abby and Jed turned to see Jamie, Millicent and the kids walk in.

"Jamie. Its good that you're here you can keep Jed from burning down my house." Abby teased and kissed her brother on the cheek. "Millicent I can't believe you are still hanging out with this degenerate."

They spent the rest of the day together as a family.

Xxxx

"Mmm. Good morning." CJ stood at the stove making eggs when Abby came up behind her to kiss her shoulder.

"You want eggs."

"No I want you." They kissed. Neither heard the door open. They did hear the sharp intake of breath.

"Oh My God." Abby's eyes snapped to the door to see Zoey standing there flanked by Jac and Hayden.

"Zoey," Abby moved towards her daughter, her hand outstretched.

"You lied to me." Abby reached for Zoey who yanked her entire body away from her.

"I... I… I…"

"No, you lied to me. Your cheating on Daddy and when I asked you you said you weren't. I NEVER WANT TO SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN!" Zoey ran from the barn. Abby stood in shock. Hayden went to follow her, CJ stepped forward.

"Hayden stay here." She came to Abby's side. "Hun, you need to talk to her." Abby nodded slowly and walked out.

There was a moment where Hayden, Jac and CJ just stared at each other. Finally, CJ spoke. "How long have y'all known?"

"I asked Daddy when the report came out and Grandma was so upset. He told me. I told Hayden."

"Mom told us not to say anything because she didn't think Zoey knew. And the few times you've come up it was obvious that she thought you were single."

"Is there anything you want to ask me?" CJ said.

"Does Grandma know?" This from Jac. She was her Grandmother's biggest fan.

"Yes, it took her a while, but she's ok with it." CJ looked at Jac, the teenager looked like she wanted to ask something else. Then Hayden gave her the slightest nudge.

"How did you know that you liked girls?" CJ sat down. This was not a conversation she had planned on having with her nieces.

"I just did. I had male friends and I even dated boys for a while. It just felt better when I kissed girls than when I kissed boys. I think your Dad knew before I did. He used to ask me whether I thought his girlfriends were cute."

"Oh."

"I know that Zoey's your friend. Her mother loves her a lot, and anything that Abby told her was because she loved her."

"She shouldn't have lied," Hayden said indignantly.

"Maybe not. But she didn't want to hurt her child."

XXXXXXXX

"Zoey, please open the door." Abby stood at the door with her face pressed against the wood. She had followed Zoey upstairs to her room, which the teenager promptly locked. "Please, let me just talk to you."

"What's wrong Mommy?" Cullen came out of his room in his football gear.

"Your sister's upset. You ready for your game buddy."

"Yeah! We're gonna crush'em." He said fiercely. Every day the boy turned into a smaller version of Jed, Abby ruffled his hair and put his helmet on.

"Try not to break any bones, my little line backer." He walked down the hall with his nanny following behind. He turned back before he bounded down the stairs. "Mom are you coming to my game with CJ?"

Abby wiped the tears out of her eyes. CJ had promised Cullen that she wouldn't miss a game if she was in town and she hadn't. "I'm gonna try."

"Hey Zoe. You coming to my game." Abby turned to see Zoey's tear stained face standing in the doorway.

"Of Course. You promised Hayden that you would break some bones."

"K. See ya." He ran downstairs. Abby turned to Zoey.

"Can we talk?" Abby said.

"Why? So you can lie to me again."

"No, I don't want to lie to you Zoey."

"But you did."

"Yes, I did." Abby lowered her eyes slightly.

"I'm not gonna lie to Daddy for you."

"Your father knows. He's always known. But I decided that you and Cullen shouldn't know. I'm sorry, but I thought it was more than you can handle."

"I'm not Cullen. I can handle it, I'm not your little princess anymore."

"You are always gonna be my little princess." Abby cupped her daughter's face and wiped the tears from her eyes. "Please forgive me. I shouldn't have lied."

Zoey looked at her mother. She had never seen her mother cry before. "Ok Mom. I forgive you."

"Do you wanna ask me some questions?"

"Yeah." They went into Zoey's room and sat on her bed. They were silent for a long time. Abby wanted to give her daughter time.

"Baby, you can ask me anything?"

"Are you and Daddy getting a divorce?"

"No."

"But you're with CJ."

"Yes, I am. I don't know how to explain it to you other than to say that we've never discussed or considered divorcing. I love your father."

"So, you don't love CJ."

"I love her too. I love them both. Your dad's my best friend. Claudia's…" She searched for the words to describe what she felt about CJ that wouldn't scare her daughter. "Claudia is so important to me. I love her."

"More than Dad?"

"Different from your father. When I met your father I thought my being attracted to women was a phase."

"Mom if your gay it's not gonna change."

"I know that sweet heart - now. But I thought it could and I wanted it to when I met him. He was the most handsome man I knew. He was so sweet and kind and had this vast knowledge of unimportant trivia."

"Still does."

"Yeah he does. So, we decided to marry and have you and Cullen. I was very happy. Then I met Claudia. I never imagined I would feel this way for her. I finally knew what the story books were talking about."

"Oh." Zoey hadn't expected her mother to say that.

"It didn't change what I feel for your father. And nothing is going to change for you or your brother. Your father and I love you more than anything. I'm sorry I hurt you baby. And you're right. You are no longer a child. But your brother is, so you can't tell him at least not now."

"I won't; he really likes CJ. So do I."

"Yeah. She thinks you guys are great." They hugged. There was a soft knock at the door. Both looked up to see Jac, Hayden and CJ standing in the door way.

"These two wanted to know if it would be ok to go to the pool," CJ said.

"Can I Mom?"

"You don't want to go to Cullen game."

"I'm not really up to it."

"Ok. But we're having dinner with your father when he gets home."

"I'll be here." Zoey went to her drawer and grabbed a suit. She walked up to CJ. "DO you love her."

"I do. Very much."

"Are you going to try to take her away from us?" Zoey wasn't stupid. Quite a few of her friends father's had had affairs and they didn't want to stay married anymore afterwards. She had even heard of a few of her mother's friends say the woman their husbands were sleeping with him made them leave. She wanted to know would CJ do the same thing to her mother.

"No sweetheart. I'm not."

XXXXXXX

Abby laid in bed thinking over the day. Zoey had forgiven her – at least partially. She had lied to her daughter and for that she could never forgive herself. Jed walked in the bedroom.

"Thanks for the heads up. That girl should be a reporter she asks the really tough questions."

"She ok." Abby looked at her husband. She needed his assurance right now.

He sat on the bed next to her and patted her leg. "She will be."

"I lied to her Jed. I've never lied to her." His eyebrow shot up. She smiled. "I mean about the important stuff. How could I do that to her? I feel like the worse mother in the world."

"Doubtful. She's upset. She will get over it. I think she's more concerned that you may not be happy and that you will up and leave."

"I told her I wouldn't."

"And in time she'll believe you. Think about how many over her friends parents are divorced. Now, imagine how many of them had affairs and then divorced. It happens every day and she sees it. We've shattered her image of our marriage. That doesn't mean we aren't a family, it just means we have to help our daughter understand our definition." He kissed her hand. "Its gonna be fine."

"Jed." He knew that tone.

"Yes…"

"Claudia wants children."

"She wants what?"

"Children."

"Abby…" He whispered. He could see his life falling apart before him. She wrapped her arms around him. "Abby." He whispered again. She would leave, he could feel it. He stood up suddenly, wiping his hands on his pants. "I'm going to take a shower."

"Jed. Jed talk to me."

"I can't right now. I need to shower. I'm heading back to the Governor's mansion tonight."

"Stay Jed."

"I can't Abby." He closed the bathroom door. Abby felt the distance.

XXXX


	4. Chapter 4

_Thanks everyone for the reviews. They have been helpful. I hope you enjoy this installment. I don't own these characters, but I love them dearly._

XXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hardwood floors, granite counter tops and walk-in closets." CJ looked around the room leveling her gaze on the house. It was beautiful. Everything on her list. She looked over as Abby peppered the realtor with questions.

"She doesn't like it." Brooke said. Both the agent and Abby looked at CJ.

"You don't like it." The agent's tone was dejected. She had been helping CJ search for a house for over 3 months and so far she found something wrong with everything. She pulled herself together. She had dealt with tough clients before. "What don't you like about it?"

"It's a lovely house." Abby shook her head at CJs statement.

"Be specific Claudia. She can't help you unless you come up with something specific."

"It's not me."

"Claudia. Specific. I know you and I'm not even sure what that means."

"It's beautiful, but its not special. Sara, I get your frustration. I thought this is what I wanted as well, but its not. I want something raw and gritty. Something new, but not in the building. Just authentic I guess."

"Ok." The Agent nodded. "Ok." She said again. "I think I have something."

"I doubt anyone has built anything that matches her HIGH expectations." Brooke said in a sarcastic tone.

"Forget you, Brooke." The sisters had always been close, but over the last six months they had grown closer than ever before.

CJ had to face some hard realities recently. She wanted children, at first she wasn't sure she would have any - at least as long as she was with Abby. However, they had begun to talk about it. Either way it came out, CJ felt she needed something of her own.

Part of her frustration was with herself. Her relationship with Abby was very typical of what she had done in the past. Work and every thing about the other person. Now, the only difference was Abby was her work. Every day she thought about what Abby wanted. She finally thought that maybe, she needed something of her own.

So, three months ago she called a realtor and began looking for a home. Now she couldn't make up her mind. Nothing seemed right. Sara, the realtor, gave them an address and they got in the car to head to it.

CJ watched as they passed office buildings, even passing the Barrington building. They went further and came to a group of condos. CJ really hoped this is not what Sara had to show her. When they finally stopped it was in front of an old warehouse overlooking the water. CJ gave a small smile.

"It was built in 1896, surprisingly by the Barrington Company. It was sold to the Whitfield's for their clothing Mill. And then was used as a storage facility. Recently, it was condemned. Though let me assure you it's structurally sound." Sara raised the large garage door leading to the entrance of the warehouse. It was a large open area. In the back left corner there were some stairs.

"This is definitely different." CJ looked around, her face unreadable. She climbed the back stairs to see a few rooms that she assumed were used as offices.

Brooke leaned over to Abby. "She can't honestly be considering this." Abby shrugged. She saw the potential, but it was going to be a lot of work. Sara stood by nervously.

"It's special." CJ said as she came downstairs. "Very special. Sara you haven't told me the price yet."

"Well, that's the catch. Its about $150,000 over your budget."

"That's a catch. It's the whole fucking sea." Brooke said.

"Thanks Brooke. Always, helpful." She turned to Sara, "That's a bit high. How long has it been on the market?"

"2 years." CJ looked at her agent.

"Do you have the comps?"

"I put them together this morning actually. A colleague is the listing agent. There is no specific value the next closest property sold for about $475,000 about 10 years ago. With the added construction in the area I think it's worth at least $700,000. The sellers want 750,000"

"Write up an offer Sara, but for $115,000 less than asking. I trust you. You have all my financial statements. Tell the owner, I'm looking for a quick close and want my costs paid." She looked at Abby and Brooke. "I'm going back to the office."

Back in the office, CJ began to work when Abby and Brooke came in with lunch. Abby handed CJ a sandwich and sat in front of her desk.

"CJ are you fucking out of your mind. That warehouse is going to cost you about $685,000. That's not including the fact that you are going to have to pour another $200,000 into it."

"Probably $250, 000," Abby said.

"I know, Brooke. But it's going to look amazing when its done. Its not that far from Hayden's school, the office and the culinary institute its perfect for us all. I'll get an architect."

"Claudia do you have that much money?" Abby asked.

"I do. I've saved quite a bit since I've been working here. And even with a 20% down payment I'll still have about $150,000 left. I'm gonna try to pay for everything in cash."

"You've saved that much money," Brooke was shocked, Abby was impressed.

"I've worked here for 4 years. I make a lot. And I have virtually no expenses. Aside from what I send Mom and Dad every month. I don't spend a lot of money. So, I take a risk. I think it will be worth it. You don't?" She asked Brooke.

"I'm just trying to wrap my head around the fact that my sister is a wealthy woman." CJ chuckled.

"Brooke, tell me you don't like it. Tell me it wouldn't be fun to live in a warehouse." CJ was so excited. Like a little kid at Christmas. Brooke eyebrows were knit together. Then a slow smile crept across her face.

"It would be kinda cool. Oh My God. You're really going to do this."

"We're doing this. I know what I want, but you'll have to help me put it together."

Abby looked back and forth between the two of them. It was amazing that Brooke looked nothing like CJ, but their expressions were exactly the same. 'We're doing this.' They were together and Abby was out. She got up. "I have a meeting." She started to leave the office.

"Abby wait. Brooke can you give us a minute." CJ noticed the change in Abby's posture. The fear in her eyes. CJ got up and walked around her desk.

"Come here. What's wrong? You think me buying this is a bad idea."

"No, I'm happy for you. Really I am."

"But you're not happy?"

"I. I'm. I am happy, I swear."

"Abby?," CJ teased.

"Its silly."

"Maybe, but tell me anyway."

"When you're done with this house, are you moving out?"

"I don't know." Abby wasn't expecting her to say that. She came out of CJs embrace and headed towards the door. "We aren't going to talk about it. You don't get the answer you want so you leave. Is that what our relationship is going to turn into?"

"You're leaving me Claudia. What am I supposed to say?"

"I'm not leaving you. I'm buying property. The barn is too small for Brooke, Hayden and me. I want something bigger. Some place that I can raise a family. It doesn't mean I'm leaving you. I could never do that. You are so much a part of me, but I have to look towards the future for myself and my family."

Abby wiped the tears that were running down her face away. "Ok. Its just a lot. You have to look towards the future."

"But it doesn't mean I am going to leave you."

"ok," She said in a quiet voice.

"Say it, Abby."

"You're not leaving."

"I'm not. You're stuck with me. With us."

"I love you Claudia." Abby kissed her. "Ok. Go to work." She left CJ in her office. The ground had shifted.

XXXX

Elizabeth Whitfield Barrington stood in the window of her house. Over the last few months her son had been spending a lot of time with Millicent Griffiths. He had recently confided in her that he was ready to propose. And despite herself, Elizabeth found that she genuinely liked Millicent.

Elizabeth had prepared herself not to, but after a few, meetings following the ball, Millicent had cleared any doubt that Elizabeth had. She was funny and smart. More importantly she didn't hold her tongue. Millicent flat out asked whether Elizabeth liked her. Her first reaction was to say 'no', but instead she gave a truthful answer. The only people she was ever truthful with were Jamie and her sister Buggy (Barbara). However, this was the first time she ever given into that urge with someone else.

However, she still needed to protect her son. She had gleaned from some of the conversations that she had had with Jamie that Millicent's ex-husband was causing trouble. She looked at her the private investigator in front of her.

"He's middle management at the Whitfeild bank on the Northside of town. He's on his second marriage and has two boys with her. Three children from a first marriage. Two twin boys and a girl. Supposedly, he questioned the paternity of his daughter at his divorce hearing claiming she was not hers. Completely disproving."

"Is that all the information you could come up with Mr. Granger?"

"I'm not exactly sure what you are looking for."

"I am looking for any information that is relevant or irrelevant. Do your job Mr. Granger, that's what I am looking for." She turned back to the window and Jack Granger turned around leaving. Almost immediately a maid came in.

"Mrs. Barrington, Miss Whitfield is here to see you."

"Thank you, Annelle. Have her come in."

"Lizzy, come shopping with me. Laura is putting together the theatre fundraiser and it works better when I stay out of her way."

"She runs your life."

"She's better at it than I am. Why was Jack Granger here?"

"I'm having him look into to something for me. Who's the manager at the Northside bank?"

"Jeff Michaelson. Good guy. Worked his way up from a teller. Has the bank turning a profit 13 quarters in a row."

"I need him to fire someone."

"Lizzy. You know I don't get involved in personnel issues. Why are you?"

"I'm a Whitfield, I need this done."

"That may work on other people, but I'm not other people. So, I'm going to need an explanation."

"Buggy just do as I ask."

"No. Tell me who you want fired."

"David Griffiths."

"Do I know him? Start from the beginning."

"Jamie is thinking of getting married again. To a woman named Millicent Griffiths."

"And…"

"I want him out of the way."

Buggy laughed out loud. "Lizzy you really need to stop watching mobster movies. I take it the person you want fired works for the bank. Is he Millicent Griffiths husband?"

"No, divorced for more than five years. According to Jamie he is causing problems. Not taking the kids in accordance with their agreement. Making Millicent's life difficult."

"And you think firing him is going to make it better. Wait Millicent? The woman he brought to the Barrington Foundation ball?" Elizabeth nodded. "She's on Abby's board. You like her! Actually like her?"

"In spite of myself. She makes him happy. Seemingly has no interest in his money. His lifestyle hasn't changed. Its actually gotten quieter. No expensive cars, no crazy trips, nothing like when he was with Monica. The last time he traveled for pleasure he took her boys fishing at his father's hunting lodge."

"Sounds like he's in love. And maybe she loves him back. If so Lizzy, then stay out of it."

"He's my son, Buggy. I can't do that."

Buggy looked at her sister. Elizabeth often came off cold, mainly because most of the time she was cold, but Buggy remembered the little quiet girl she grew up with. As an adult her reserve came out as ice. Anyone that she let below the surface knew that Elizabeth loved her children, she didn't always show it in the right ways, but she would do anything to protect them. She had made a misstep with CJ.

Buggy knew that Elizabeth saw CJ Cregg as a threat to Abby and the image she'd built. Unfortunately, her tactic for eliminating the threat had only further alienated mother and daughter. Buggy would do whatever it took to keep Elizabeth from making the same mistake with Jamie. Especially Jamie. Her son was her life, her best friend. So, if she viewed David Griffiths as a threat then that's how he would be treated.

"Firing him is small and beneath you."

"Firing him is small?"

"Yes. It's something mother would have done. And if Jamie finds out he'll be devastated. WE have to do something that will get the message across that Millicent will be one of us. David Griffiths will be neutralized effectively. We're Whitfields, no one crosses us." Buggy smiled at her sister.

"Never have there been more devoted sisters." They shared the private joke.

"Ok. Now shopping, then lunch. I can't plot someone's destruction on an empty stomach."

XXXX

CJ stood in the middle of her new acquisition holding blue prints in her hand.

"Virginia which way do these go." CJ had finally hired an architect, Virginia Tulmal. The architect was shorter than CJ, only by a few inches though, with long dirty blonde hair that she kept pulled back in a pony tail. She came to stand next to CJ and readjust the papers.

"This way. See the doors are right there."

"I'm thinking we can raise the roof and build out the second floor."

"An actual second floor? You don't think it would be better to just create separate spaces within the space."

"I want privacy in this space. The problem with the barn is it wasn't built for more than one person to live in, so you get entirely to close for comfort. Can you do that with this?"

"Sure. We can make it one big open space with partial walls and big sliding doors. So, when they are pulled closed you can't hear anything." The doors opened to Virginia and CJ standing together lost in conversation, their bodies leaning into each other intimately.

CJ turned around to see Abby standing there with three other women. "Abigail!" CJ was more than happy to see the head of the Barrington family.

"Claudia Jean!" She opened her arms as CJ leaned over to give Abigail a huge hug. Abby stood by catching the attraction in Virginia's eyes as she looked at CJ. "I can't believe you bought this place."

"Its gonna be great. We are just going over what I would like."

"Before you two get caught up in the possibilities let me introduce you to my Aunt Buggy." Abby took CJ's arm and brought her a little closer to her and further away from Virginia. "Aunt Buggy this is the Barrington Foundation's manager CJ Cregg. Claudia this is my maternal Aunt, Barbara Whitfieild."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Miss Whitfeild." Barbara "Buggy" Whitfield was notoriously unmarried. Over the years she had been placed with many eligible bachelors, but she remained unmarried. She was the younger sister of Elizabeth Barrington and considered the jewel in the Whitfield crown.

"My, aren't you tall." CJ felt the look of appraisal and the small of smile of approval – it made her feel a little naked. "So, you bought the old Whitfield Mill. And is my niece right you're going to turn it into a house?" CJ nodded. "How positively scandalous. Mother would have thought that was the worse idea in the world."

CJ noticed the African-American woman with her head firmly in her blackberry. Never speaking or even trying to pretend that she cared what was going on. She couldn't be that much younger than Abby and was very striking in her height and beauty. Buggy followed CJs gaze and a knowing smile crept to her eyes. "Laura come meet CJ." The beautiful woman slipped the device in the bag on her arm. Coming forward with her hand out stretched.

"CJ this is my girl Friday."

"Laura." She gave a small smile and laughed at Buggy, coming eye to eye with CJ. "She likes to give people nicknames. I think a warehouse as a home is modern and chic. And Virginia is the best architect ever." She smiled at CJs architect who returned it.

"You two know each other," Abby said.

"We have friends in common."

"Show me what you're thinking Claudia Jean." Abigail led CJ away from the crowd and Virginia followed. Laura pulled out her blackberry and continued whatever she was doing.

"She's interested in your CJ." Buggy said to Abby.

"Claudia and I are co-workers and friends." Buggy laughed out loud.

"Yeah the way Laura and I are. What you are doing Abby is a long family tradition."

"Tradition, huh?"

"Yes, tradition. I told Elizabeth she shouldn't be surprised that you fell for the amazon. You come by it honestly."

"Buggy you're insane."

"Maybe. But that girl wouldn't get kicked out of anyone's bed. If you don't want her send her over this way."

"You have your hands full already Buggy." Laura said never raising her head from her blackberry.

"Hmmm. True." They watched as Abigail, CJ and Virginia discussed plans, then Abby asked a question.

"Have you spoken to mother?"

"Yes. She's not very happy about the Millicent and Jamie situation."

"Jamie is old enough to choose who he wants to be with. Why can't she stay out of things?"

"Because that's what Elizabeth does best." She waited a beat. "And its her job."

"To ruin her children's lives."

"That explains that. What portion of your life did she ruin Abby?"

"It doesn't matter."

"I think you are operating under some misconceptions about Lizzy."

"I have no delusions where she is concerned."

"Of course you do Abby. She's your mother. All girls have delusions where their mother's are concerned. She outed you Abby, its time to get over it."

"She tried to destroy my life, my husband's career, Claudia's reputation and my children's sense of security. I will never forgive her for that."

"You and Elizabeth are so much alike. Unnecessarily dramatic. Your mother has lived the life she was raised to live. Regardless of what she did you need to understand that she has and always will do what it takes to protect you."

"Protect me. Come on. Protecting me is not something Elizabeth Whitfield Barrington has ever been interested in."

"You don't know a lot Abby. Let's just leave it for now." They stood there staring at the three women across the room for a few minutes. Virginia has designs on your manager. I would be careful."

"I will be."

Abigail approached the group. "This is going to be a great house. The ideas Claudia Jean and Virginia are coming up with are amazing, I can't wait to see the finished product." She looked between Abby and Buggy. Buggy looked as always perfectly relaxed. Abby had her arms folded in a defensive manner. "Buggy you promised me lunch."

"Then lunch we will have. Is CJ and the architect joining us?"

"I don't think so," Abigail said.

XXXX

Abby wanted to tell Jed everything was going to be ok. She wanted to tell herself it was going to be ok. She wanted to tell herself it was going to be ok, but she wasn't able to.

They had been having the same fight for weeks. What would Abby do when CJ moved. Tonight, it was about the press. Of, course they would notice Abby leaving the warehouse at 3am.

"Jed, I'm always careful. You know that!"

"Abby you need to make a decision about what you are going to do."

"I promised you that I would see your career through to the end."

"What does that mean these days Abby? Another runa t the governor's seat; the senate. President! Because that could be 10-15 years. Are you willing to wait that long?"

"I don't know Jed, I didn't put an expiration date on it. Maybe."

"Maybe! My entire life is maybe Abby. Maybe I will run for re-election. Maybe my wife won't leave me. Maybe she'll have children with someone else. Maybe Maybe Maybe."

"Jed you're being unreasonable."

"Of course I am Abby. Because my being concerned about my entire life being turned on its head is completely unreasonable." He ripped his tie from his neck. "I can't talk about this now Abby I have other things to think about."

"You can't talk to me. ME! We talk about everything Jed. Now, you're not even willing to discuss anything. Your life isn't the only one falling apart. You aren't the only one whose life is changing."

"That may be true but you're the one with all the power." He waited a beat. "Abby, I knew from the moment you fell in love with CJ that I might lose you. And as much as I would like to pretend that nothing has changed, I can't. She wants a life with you. A family. And I'm not sure she doesn't deserve it."

"I'm sorry, Jed."

"So, am I." He laid down on the bed, pulling her to his chest. "We can figure out how to make it work.

XXXX

Brynn came downstairs with her shoulders hunched her face on the verge of tears. She walked up to Jamie, who was sitting in a chair reading a book, and climbed in his lap. Jamie had become a fixture at Millicent's house. He came over most evenings. He had acquired a small condo after his divorce, and so far had not even unpacked. He felt at home here.

The children had adapted well to his presence. They sat a place for him at dinner every night and even asked him to check their homework when it was done. Brynn liked to sit in his lap and watch TV or pretend to read whatever he was reading. Sometimes, she just fell asleep there.

He wouldn't have noticed she was crying if he hadn't felt her shoulders begin to shake and her tears had not begun to soak into his shirt. He looked down.

"Brynn sweetheart. What's wrong? Did something happen at school?" Brynn was more introverted than either of the boys. She reminded Jamie a lot of himself at her age.

"No," She said in a quiet voice.

"Then why are you crying?" She shook her head no, but kept it buried in his chest. She had been home for a few hours, so he was sure nothing had happened, but he learned from Millicent that when the children weren't forth coming you had to ask questions. "Did Luke or Dillon make you cry?" She shook her again. He knew that was unlikely, because the boys were more protective of Brynn than anyone else. "You have to tell me what's wrong so that I can help." He took his fingers and lifted her chin. She yanked her face out of his hand. He got up out of seat holding her in his arms and walked into the kitchen.

The boys were sitting in the kitchen doing their homework. "Luke, what's wrong with Brynn?" Luke was the keeper of the information. Millicent looked up from the stove to see Brynn crying. She put down her spoon and went over to brush the hair out of her face.

"Dad said no about the father daughter pageant dance thing." Every year at Brynn' school, there was a talent show and dance for the father's and daughters. She had been talking about it since the beginning of school. Today, she had received the sign-up and Millicent told her to call her father and give him the information. It never occurred to the doctor that her ex-husband would actually say no to his child.

"He said no?" Millicent asked Brynn. Millicent bit the inside of her mouth when Brynn said yes. She would kill him. "I'm sorry sugar." She exchanged a look with Jamie.

"Does it have to be a father?" Jamie asked timidly. He had been very wary about asserting himself into the children's lives without being asked.

"I don't know."

Brynn had stopped crying and lifted her head to look at her mother. "Mommy, can Jamie do it?" Millicent smiled.

"I'll call the headmistress." That brought a smile to the little girl's face.

"You won't have to work?" Brynn asked earnestly.

"I'll move my schedule around." She wrapped her arms around his neck. Millicent kissed her forehead and his cheek.

"Ok, Dinner's almost ready. Boys clean off the table. And help your sister set it." Brynn jumped out of Jamie's arms. Millicent kissed him full on the lips.

"What was that for?" He asked.

"Being a really good man." They ate dinner together as a family.

XXXXX

Abby sat at her vanity. She unclipped her hair and watched it fall to her shoulders. She had been traveling for the last six weeks. Two weeks in the capital with Jed, 3 weeks overseas for the foundation and 1 extra week for the company. She was tired. More than anything she wanted to see CJ. She had called her at the barn and no one answered. So, she tried the office and Carol said that CJ had left to meet Virginia at 1pm and yet to return. That was 5 hours ago. Another call to the barn made it five hours CJ had been away.

She picked up the phone and called Jed.

"Governor's office."

"Hi Nancy. Is the governor in?"

"Yes, Mrs. Bartlett hold on, I'll see if he's available." Abby waited a moment.

"Hey hun," Jed came on the line.

"Hey. So, I'm home for the next few days. I wanted to go over my schedule with you."

"Hold on." She heard him ask the people in his office to leave.

"You sound tired."

"I am."

"Look, don't worry about me. Leo has everything under control."

"Ok. I'll see you when you come home." Her voice sounded dejected.

"Tell me what's wrong Abby."

"I called Claudia she's not home."

"Maybe she didn't get the message."

"I sent her a text. I called her cell, the office, and the barn. She's not answering. It's been five hours."

"Maybe she got caught up. I'm sure she'll call when she's free."

"'When she's free.'" She chuckled sadly.

"I didn't mean it like that."

"I know. She is just with Virginia. And…"

"She loves you Abby. She wouldn't do that to you."

XXXX

CJ stood behind Virginia going over the final plans for the warehouse. They begun construction a month ago, and CJ really enjoyed putting together her new home. Every time she moved a wall or talked about the number of bedrooms, she imagined her and Abby there. It would be there place. At least one day it would be. For now, it would be Brooke's and Hayden's. She was excited about the possibilities.

"Bathtub in the master, if you can find one that can fit my legs and at least two people and a really large shower."

"Sounds like you plan on having company while you bathe."

"I always try to plan ahead." CJ enjoyed the teasing between them. However, she saw it all in good fun. Unfortunately, Virginia did not. "Hey, you want some dinner. Carol's gone home but I can order us something." They had made it back to the office about an hour before.

"Sure dinner sounds good." CJ grabbed the phone and noticed the messages sitting beside it. She flipped through them noticing the two from Abby. They were 2 of the six she had received from the brunette today.

"Sushi ok." Virginia nodded yes. CJ ordered from her favorite place. Then picked up the phone to call Abby. She got the machine. So, she left a message. "Hey, it's me. Sorry I keep missing your calls. I'll call you when I am heading home – if it's not too late. Otherwise how about breakfast in the morning? K. Byebye." CJ wanted to tell her she loved her and missed her, but she had learned not to trust anyone when it came to Abby.

"Fund managers work 24/7 huh."

"I do. We have a couple projects going at one time and I have to catch Abby when she's not traveling. It's my job to make sure she's happy with the direction of the project."

"How do you have a social life?"

"It works out. It's not terribly active, but I love my job." That's right CJ keep it vague, it's safer that way. They chatted a bit more and the security guard buzzed up from downstairs. CJ told him to send up the delivery person and then ordered a bottle of wine from the liquor store in the building. Barrington building was definitely full service. She paid for both deliveries and grabbed some glasses. They sat next to each other on the couch.

"I can't believe you eat deep fried sushi. It's not even real."

"It's good. And I am sucker for anything deep fried. You and Abby are just snobs."

Virginia leaned over and pressed her lips to CJs. At first, CJ was shocked. Her moment of hesitation made Virginia think the kiss was wanted; so, she increased the pressure running her hands up CJs neck. CJ worked out of her daze, pushing Virginia back.

"Stop. I have a girlfriend."

"You what?" Virginia was confused.

"I'm in a committed relationship. I can't do this."

"I've never heard you mention a girlfriend before. Come on CJ if you're not attracted to me say it. But don't pull the letting her down easy by saying you have a girlfriend, I'm not naïve."

"Whether you believe it or not I have a girlfriend. And this is inappropriate."

"Then why isn't she helping you with this project. Where is she? Come one CJ. You've been giving off interested signals almost since the first time we met." Virginia smiled placing her hand on CJs shoulder. "Let's assume that you have a girlfriend. It really doesn't matter to me. She's obviously not around a lot. We could have a good time when she's unavailable."

"You need to leave." CJ stood up and opened the door.

"Ok CJ, I'm not that hard up. I'll send you the final changes." Virginia grabbed her laptop and left the room.

CJ grabbed the phone and called for a car. When she made it home, she stopped at the main house looking for Abby. She stopped Margaret.

"Where's Mrs. Bartlett?"

"In her bedroom. She's asked not to be disturbed."

"That's fine Margaret. I'll make sure she knows you told me that." Abby made her way to Abby and Jed's bedroom. She knocked lightly before she let herself in. "Abby." She called into the dark room. There was a single glow coming from the small sitting room. CJ assumed it was the TV. She made her way over that way. "Abby." Abby was sitting in the chair her feet curled up under her. CJ glanced at the TV, she was watching some old movie.

"I told Margaret I didn't want to be disturbed."

"Yes, she told me. I got your messages."

"Yes and I received yours."

"I didn't mean to ignore you. I just got caught up…"

"With Virginia." It sounded like an accusation. And CJ felt ashamed.

"Yes." CJ stared at Abby in the darkness. "She made a kissed me tonight."

"Did you rebuff her advances?"

"Of course I did. Why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know CJ, I called you six times today and you didn't return one call." Abby hadn't called her CJ in years. It hurt. "That's not including all the times I've called you in the last six weeks and you have not been able to talk. Or return a phone call. I'm surprised you could return one tonight. And when I do get you on the phone all you talk about is her. So, I just wonder if tonight is the first time she made an advance and was it did you unwelcomed."

"Abby I'm so sorry. I just got caught up in building out the warehouse. I'm not interested in Virginia. I love you."

"Ok. CJ, but I need to get back to my movie."

"Abby talk to me."

"Not now. I just want to watch this."

"Ok, Call me. Whenever." CJ turned around and left. She didn't see the silent tears on Abby's cheeks. Abby had been crying since she spoke to Jed earlier. She had gotten CJs message earlier and heard the joy in her voice. It broke her heart.

XXXXX

CJ walked into the barn, seeing Brooke in the kitchen cooking and Hayden sitting at the counter doing some work.

"Hey, CJ. We're having salmon, now that I can fillet one," Brooke said.

"I'm not hungry, I'm going to bed." Hayden only had to take one look at her aunt to know she needed to leave.

"I'm going to see if Zoey can explain anatomy to me. I swear it's not even useful." Hayden left leaving CJ and Brooke alone.

"You wanna tell me what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Ok, so you wanna go the hard way. I'll call mom." Brooke picked up the phone on the counter.

"Brooke, I just want to be left alone."

"I'm sure that's exactly what Mom will do when I tell her you've been walking around here moping."

"Fine I tell you and then you leave me alone." Brooke nodded. "Virginia kissed me tonight. I told Abby and she asked if it was the first time. She wouldn't even look at me. She didn't show any emotion."

"Did you kiss her back?"

"Of course I didn't! How could you ask something like that?"

"I was just curious. So, Abby's upset."

"Yeah."

"Mmmm."

"What does that mean?

"It means I can see why she's upset."

"I didn't do anything wrong."

"Maybe not tonight, but you've been distributing a lot of cheating like behavior."

"I have not."

"You have CJ. You don't return her phone calls. And I know that because I'm the one that takes the messages. You spend all of your available time with Virginia."

"I've been working on the warehouse."

"I know that, but look at it from the outside. You spend all of your time with someone. All you talk about is her, in relation to the warehouse, but her just the same. When Abby's been home, you don't have any of your 'working dinners'. I'm not saying you did it on purpose, but from the outside it does look like cheating." CJ sat down hard on the stool Hayden had just vacated.

"I didn't realize."

"I figured." CJ got up and headed towards the door.

"I have to go to talk to her."

"I'd leave it alone for now CJ. Give her some time. Make yourself available, but let her come to you."

"Ok." CJ took a deep breath. She would leave Abby a message and apologize. "So, you're making salmon."

"Yes with a mustard glaze, fennel salad and macaroni and cheese."

"Macaroni and cheese isn't very refined." CJ put her finger in the glaze as Brooke swatted her hand away.

"I made a deal with Hayden. She would try all the new stuff I'm learning to make if I infuse some of her favorites in every meal. I think she's really going to enjoy the baking classes."

"My waist line's not."

XXXXX

Message 1

_Hey, Its me. I hope you're ok. We haven't spoken in a while; so, I just wanted to say hi. I miss you. _*Beep* A while, Abby chuckled bitterly. It had been over two weeks, since they hadn't spoke about anything work or personal in over two weeks.

Message 2

_So, I decided that you can't not talk to me. I need you to call me back._

*Beep* There was the slightest hint of desperation in her voice, but more defiance.

Message 3

_Hey Abs. Its Jed. Call Charlie, he needs to talk to you about the Governor's ball. Or should he call CJ. Are you talking to her?_

*Beep*

Message 4

_Abby please. Don't shut me out._

*Beep*

Abby pulled up the contacts in her phone and scrolled down to Jed's office number.

"Hi Mrs. Landingham, is the Governor available?"

"He will be in a moment if you want to hold on. Are you feeling better?"

"I'm sorry?"

"The Governor said you weren't feeling well."

"Oh. I'm getting better."

"Hold on Mrs. Bartlett, I'll put you threw." There was a brief pause followed by.

"Sweet knees, I only have a second. You got my message?"

"Yeah. What about the ball?"

"Charlie is the point for my office, but he said your staff has not begun work."

"Oh. I haven't assigned anyone yet."

"Abby?" He sighed. She had not been herself lately. He took a deep breath. "It's six months away. Do you want me to have Charlie get the balling rolling."

"I'll assign someone."

"Why don't you ask CJ?"

"Jed," she said warningly. She heard the door close on the other end of the telephone.

"It's time to let her off the hook. She screwed up. Let it go"

"She kissed her!"

"Yeah." What else was he going to say? It broke his heart that CJ kissing someone else hurt her more than the plethora of women he had sex with over the years. "I have to go. Leo needs me. Let Charlie know when you're ready." He hung up.

Abby left her rooms and headed out to the sun porch. She looked out over what she had built and wondered why it felt so empty.

"Mrs. Bartlett. Miss Whitfield is here to see you."

"Tell her I'm out here."

Abby stood brushing the imaginary dust off her clothes. She squared her shoulders, pushing her feelings down and put a smile on her face.

"Aunt Buggy." She gave her aunt a hug. "Hey Laura. How are you?" She and Laura embraced. They were the same age, but lived completely separate lives. Laura had more in common with CJ than she did with Abby. Extremely organized and purely adept at keeping all the balls in the air.

"I came because your mother needs your help with the Jamie/Millicent situation."

"I will not help her break them up. He's happy. Why can't she leave him alone?"

"Why do you always think the worst of her?"

"Because it's usually true."

"Watch it. That's my sister you're talking about. You think you were unloved and tortured. You have nothing on Elizabeth."

"Ok, Aunt Buggy. Elizabeth Whitfield Barrington life was hard. It doesn't justify what she's done to me."

"From the day she was born she tried to live up to mother's expectations. And every day was brutally reminded how she didn't. Sometimes with the back of mother's hand. She wasn't sweet enough, she wasn't pretty enough. She would never find anyone of substance if she stayed in a corner her entire life, because she wasn't interesting enough to hold anyone's attention. Then she met your father. She had dreams and goals. She wanted to go to college, but she wasn't allowed. Then James married someone else, and mother reminded her she wasn't good enough. Then she was only second best, his fall back." She took Abby's hand wiping the tears away that had falling down Abby's cheek. "Abby she didn't know how to be a better mother because she didn't have one."

"But you?"

"I never had children so they wouldn't hate me."

"She never treated Jamie they way she treated me."

"Jamie was not a girl. You, Abby, were meant to take over as the face of your family. She taught you to do that the only way she knew how. And her ice created you. A woman that could survive anything."

"I didn't know."

"No you didn't. You want to know something she wouldn't tell you." Abby nodded. "She's incredibly proud of you. What you have accomplished." Tears were streaming down Abby's face. Buggy looked at Abby. Something beyond the revelation about her mother was wrong. "You and the amazon had a fight."

"Not exactly. You were right. Virginia kissed her."

"Did she kiss her back?"

"She said she didn't. But I don't have anything to offer her." Buggy placed her hand on Abby's knee. She knew that feeling. Knowing the person you love the most could walk away. She glanced to her left at Laura.

"You have yourself. I don't know CJ very well, but she strikes me as someone who knows her own mind. And if she loves you, she's made a choice and some compromises. But she didn't settle. Know that." Laura said.

"Thank you Laura."

"Just so you know Elizabeth likes Millicent." Abby sat back in shock. "I was shocked too, but she does. She realized she made a mistake with you. She doesn't want to do the same with him. But she has to help him." She told Abby the situation with David and Millicent. Buggy went over their plan. "Are you in?"

"I'm in." They said good-bye. Before they left, Laura turned to Abby.

"Look Abby talk to her. Cause if you're anything like Buggy you are avoiding instead of facing it. Virginia's a pariah. It's possible that CJ never led her on or gave any hints of attraction."

"Thanks Laura."

XXXXX

Abby hoped out of her car bypassing the press that was waiting to ask her questions and get a shot of her. She needed to get Zoey and Hayden new spandex shorts for volleyball. She had forgotten to do it three days ago and Zoey had made her promise she would do it today. Practice after all started tomorrow. And like Jed, Zoey hated to make a bad first impression.

As always wherever Abby went the press followed. It had been a long time since the state had had a first couple that was as beautiful as Abby and Jed. She had gotten used to the new people in her world.

She walked out of the store to flashing camera bulbs. "Mrs Bartlett do you have time to answer a few questions?" One of the reporters asked. She checked her watch and turned around to the reporters.

"Sure, I have few a quick minutes."

"Do you and the governor have anything special planned for this year's ball?"

"This year we'll be focusing on bringing some of the traditional elements of the ball back." Luckily Jed's phone call a few days before had forced her to consider what she would like at the ball. While she had started the process herself, with no help from staff, she had begun digging around in the make-up of past balls.

"Does that include inviting members of the general public?"

"Yes, though we have not worked out all the details. So don't ask me specific questions. But we both feel that the Governor's Ball is about the citizens if this state so why shouldn't they get to attend."

"Mrs. Bartlett, with the shift of health care in the country today do you believe the state is living up to its responsibility when it comes to health care."

"I think the state is doing the best it can."

"So, you don't believe the Governor is doing enough."

"I didn't say that."

"Your foundation has shifted focus from its art background to health care; so, can we infer that you don't believe the Governor is doing a good job." The reporter said in a condescending tone.

Her tolerance was low anyway, so the reporter's attitude was pissing off now. "You can infer what you want." Abby stormed off to the waiting car.

XXXX

Toby stood in the room he and Leo had converted into an office in the local office. He held a remote in his hand, stopping the DVR at Abby storming off and rewinding it.

"GINGER!"

"Yeah Toby."

"Get me CJ now!"

She walked out as Leo walked in. "Did you hear what she said?" Leo said.

"Yeah. 'You can infer what you want.'" He stared at the screen hitting record. "Whose going to tell the Governor?"

"That's why they pay me the big bucks." Leo said as he flipped through papers on his desk. "You better come up with a way to fix this."

"Yeah…" Toby said non-committal. "Cause that's always fun. Telling the press Mrs. Bartlett didn't mean what she said or that she wasn't really criticizing the Governor on live TV."

"Toby, CJs on line one." Ginger said. He hit the speaker button.

"CJ you made me a promise that you would stop this from blowing up in my face. Yet I just heard a kaboom."

"Hey Toby, it's nice to hear from you. I'm fine. How are you?"

"Well, I was having a normally hectic day until your boss started to answer questions. So, let me ask you CJ, is it the opinion of the Foundation that the Governor is doing a bad job with health care?"

"That's not what she said Toby."

"No she said 'you can infer what you want'. Just tell me you have a plan to fix this."

"Well considering I saw it when you saw it, all of 7 ½ minutes ago, I haven't gotten as far in my day as fixing it yet. I'll call you back when I do." She hung up the phone. Toby looked at Leo.

"We're going to have dial Mrs. Bartlett back. She's going to have to say she misspoke." Toby said.

"The Governor is not going to let her do that. You know he hates to qualify her statements. Stay in touch with CJ. Make sure you approve whatever she comes up with. I need to go keep the Governor away from the press." Leo walked out of the room.

"GIN…" Ginger appeared in the doorway like she was awaiting his call. "Get me every statement Mrs. Bartlett has made in relation to the Governor and the foundation." He would need to fix it, if CJ proved she couldn't.

XXXXX

Later Jed, Abby, Leo and Toby stood in Bartlett's den watching CJ leave the Barrington building. She was flanked by the press - calling her name, asking for an explanation. Once she cleared the building, so that everyone could see the building name behind her, she started answering questions.

"Does Mrs. Bartlett disagree with the Governor's policies regarding health care?"

"No she does not."

"The foundation has shifted it's focus so obviously she assumes so."

"The foundation has not exactly shifted its focus as much as it has added additional focus. Health Care is important to the Foundation, the Barrington Company and the Governor because it's an issue that affects our community."

"The Foundations announcement however came immediately after the Governor closed a few clinics."

"There wasn't a vast conspiracy folks. This addition has been over 4 years in the making. Mrs. Bartlett wanted to tangibly give back to a community that has given so much to her. That is why the foundation has gathered some of the best doctors in the country to help us with this project." She signaled Carol, who started handing out packets. "Being handed out to you now is the foundations complete plan. We will be accepting proposals for grants starting Monday of next week. The details are on our website. If there aren't any other questions, there is a crème brulee with my name on it." No one asked questions and CJ hopped into the waiting sedan.

Leo turned to Toby. "She's good."

"Yeah. I'll call Mike and tell him to dump the statement. I can't believe she made the press look like fools."

Jed waited a moment. "Guys can we have the room." Toby and Leo left.

"Have you spoken to her?"

"No not really."

"Abby. You need to apologize for being… you."

"Excuse me."

"You've ignored her for more than two weeks. Which is your basic M.O. You ignore people that can hurt you instead of letting them reject you. She went out there today and saved your ass. Both of our asses."

"Yeah she did."

"Though that's what she gets paid for, she didn't have to do it in such a way that wouldn't make my office have to explain your comment. What it says to me is that she loves you. She loves you enough to protect me not just you. So, stop ignoring her. Do a little groveling and get back to being happy. You're stressing me out."

"You realize that our entire world will change. She wants more and I want so bad to give it to her."

"I trust you Abby and I trust her. Just be patient with me."

"I love you, Jed."

"Me too. I'm heading out. I'll be back sometime tomorrow afternoon."

"Kay. See you tomorrow."

Abby picked up her phone and called CJ.

"Hello."

"Hi, where are you?" Abby said.

"Sitting in the drive way. I have some papers for you to sign. I sped up the grants, so you'll need to sign authorization papers work to bypass board approval." CJs voice sounded in complete control, but Abby detected slight tremor.

"I'm home. Why don't you come in?"

"Sure, let me park." CJ sounded reluctant to come in. It took a few moments, but eventually CJ walked into the living room. Abby was sitting in a wingback chair looking very much the lady of the manor.

"You realize that if I would have stayed at home this morning none of this would have happened."

"I doubt that. They would have backed you into a corner eventually. Here are the papers." CJ was careful not to touch Abby. She stood there with her looking like a kid that had been called to the principal's office.

Abby stood up as she took the papers out of CJs hand and laid them in the chair she just vacated. CJ let her hand drop to her side and wouldn't look at Abby. "As soon as you sign those we will begin accepting grants. I made some changes, they are tagged with stickies. I can fix anything else you need fixed," CJ rambled.

Abby reached up and brushed CJ's hair out her face. "Claudia."

"Please," CJ took a deep and shaky breath. She stepped back.

Abby took her hand and pulled her closer. "Claudia. I'm sorry." CJ began to take very shallow heavy breaths.

"Please Abby. Don't. I can't. I just needed to drop those off." CJ yanked her hand out of Abby's and headed towards the door before Abby could say another word.

"That went well." Abby said to the sound of the closing door. Abby waited a moment and went out the door CJ just exited. She made her way across the property to the barn. She knocked and heard a come in.

Brooke stood facing her.

"Where is she?" Abby asked

"So, you want to talk to her now," Brooke sounded pissed off.

"Where is she Brooke?"

"You don't get to do this to her. She's not your toy. You don't get to push her aside when it suits you and expect her to be waiting when you need to get off."

"You don't know anything about me or this."

"I know she made a mistake and you act like she murdered your best friend. You don't speak to her. You don't return phone calls. You let her talk to your machine and when she rushes to your defense then she gets you back. That's bullshit Abby. And I won't you treat my sister like she's your whore."

"How dare you call her that! I've never ever treated her…" She couldn't even say the word. "I love her." Abby had to admit Brooke was right. She did what she always does when someone hurts her. She closes herself off. Brooke was right. "I screwed up."

"Damn right you did."

"I love her so much. The thought of losing her is more than I could bare. Let me just talk to her. Please."

"She's in her bedroom." Abby headed towards the stairs. "Abby," The brunette stopped on the stairs. "If you hurt her like this again I won't be responsible for my actions."

"Your mother threatened to hunt me down."

"She won't get the chance." Brooke smiled. And Abby laughed.

"Got it." Abby ascended to stairs. She opened the door to CJs bedroom. She expected to see the redhead on the bedroom crying. Instead CJ was standing in her closet throwing clothes in the suitcase on the bed.

"You leaving?"

"I'm going away for a few days."

"Where?"

"I don't know." CJ didn't turn around.

"Do you want me to call Murphy? He can have the plane take you anywhere you want to go."

"I don't want anything from you."

"Ok. Claudia can I talk to you for a second?"

"I don't think we have anything to say to each other."

"Why don't I talk while you pack?" Abby felt her heart pounding in her chest. This is what she was always afraid of. What if CJ left and never came back? But CJ did not stop what she was doing. She moved around the room putting stuff in her suitcase. "I screwed up. Majorly." CJ didn't say a word or stop her movements. "I asked you once what you wanted and I forgot to keep asking. I should have kept asking. It was my job to keep asking. And when you went and got what you wanted it scared me. I thought she doesn't need me she can get what she wants herself. Without me."

CJ paused at the swimsuits she was pulling from the drawer, but she didn't say anything. "You don't deserve what I did to you. I shut you out, and I forgot to tell you that I just needed time. I needed time to get my mind together. To realize that you weren't buying the warehouse to hurt me. That it had nothing at all to do with me. I'm sorry Claudia. I was stupid."

"You're wrong." CJ said quietly as she slowly turned around.

"I'm wrong?" Abby looked confused.

"Me buying the warehouse had and has a lot to do with you. When you asked me what I wanted all those years ago I told you that I wanted to buy a house someday. Today is someday. I bought it for us. For you and me."

"Oh."

"I bought it because I want to own something. I hope someday I can bring our children home there. For now it will be a place for Hayden and Brooke until Brooke gets on her feet. That way you you and I can be together more, here."

"Oh. Now I feel more like an ass than I did when I walked in here. Forgive me Claudia."

"You hurt me."

"I know. I jumped to conclusions. I let my own insecurities get the best of me. I apologize for that."

"I'm sorry about Virginia. I didn't know she was going to kiss me and I didn't mean to lead her on."

"I know. I overreacted. Can we put her behind us?"

"You can deal with me working with Virginia?"

"I don't like or trust her Claudia. But I trust you. So, I will learn to deal with it."

"We aren't working together anymore. She gave the project to an associate."

"You did that on purpose."

"Yeah. You have to trust me Abby. In order for us to work we have to trust each other."

"I know. I do trust you."

"Ok."

"Ok." CJ sat on the bed. "Are you still going away?"

"No. It was an impulse. I was angry."

"Sometimes impulses are good. You've been working hard maybe sometime away is a good thing."

"Will you come with me?" Abby wanted to run home and pack a bag, but she couldn't.

"I wish I could, but I have countless things to do. Including planning the Governor's ball and figuring out how to invite the public without putting Jed at risk."

"I know. I talked to Charlie. We're putting together a list of potential invites. I am also assembling a planning team to throw around some ideas. Charlie is handling security and working with the troopers to make sure the Governor is protected."

"You anticipate all of my needs don't you," Abby said coyly.

"That's something else we need to talk about." CJs serious tone put a damper on Abby's needs. "I'm haven't been very good at telling you what I want. I work really hard at making sure I don't make my life about the person I am in a relationship with. With you that's hard, because you are my job. I know my title says fund manager, but we both know that I handle every aspect of your life." Abby chuckled. "Even that. With the expansion of the foundation, the added responsibility has made it harder for me to separate you professionally from you personally."

Abby wasn't really sure where this was going. "Umm. Ok."

"I think you need to hire an assistant. I mean an actual assistant someone; that can do more than take messages." CJ and Jed had often commented on the fact that Abby couldn't hire anyone that was remotely effective.

"I like Carly. She's nice."

"She's incompetent, but I have a solution. I talked to Toby, he suggested a young woman named Annabelle Schott. She has a communications background and even interned with Toby a for few months."

"Does he speak highly of her?"

"Toby speaks highly of no one. But he says she has some good ideas. I think it's what we need."

"Ok, I'll talk to her. Let's make a deal. We only talk about work at work or when we specifically arrange it. Otherwise it will be easy to be consumed by it."

"Deal."

"I love you, Claudia."

"I love you." They kissed for a long time. Recapturing what it was like to be this close. "Stay tonight."

"Ok."

XXXXx


	5. Chapter 5

So, here's the next installment of Barrington Family Matters. I am working out the ending and I am not sure how many more chapters there will be. This is kinda a filler chapter to get us to the end. Sorry for how long it took. I hope you enjoy.

Read/Review

It was CJs birthday. Her 30th birthday. And for the first time she didn't have anything planned. Her first birthday working for Abby she had gone home to spend time with her family. The last three years she had invited her friends over or gone out with them. But this time Abby had told her not to make plans. She wanted to plan their day. So, here she sat at 4:30 am wondering why Abby had made her get up this early.

She shook off the last vestiges of sleep and pulled on her jeans and a t-shirt. She only had about 5 minutes before she needed to be out front. She headed to the refrigerator in hopes that there was more in there than had been the previous night. Unfortunately there wasn't; and she didn't have the time to go the main house and scrounge in there. So instead, she slipped on her flip flops and walked out the door. She hoped that she could convince Abby to stop somewhere for coffee. Was anything even open this early?

Abby's car and chauffeur were waiting. "Hey CJ. You ready?"

"Sure Tom. Abby in the car."

"No she already left. You're on your own." CJ got in the car. Tom started it and began to drive away. CJ put her head back on the seat and contemplated asking Tom to stop. He rolled down the partition, "there's coffee and pastries in the compartment."

"Bless you." He laughed. CJ opened the compartment and surely there was a pot of hot coffee and Danishes. "You want some?" She asked Tom.

"Sure, its kinda early." Tom had worked for a lot of people before coming to work for Abby and Jed. Most didn't bother to learn his name or acknowledge that he was there. Abby and Jed treated each of their staff members like they were family. The only thing required was discretion and giving Tom's position he learned a lot of things that required it. Over the past few years he had gotten to know CJ pretty well and they chatted often.

"How's Lil?" CJ asked

"Good. Working too hard. Jimmy starts college next year. She's picked up a few extra shifts to pay for all the senior year stuff and tuition extras. We got that bill in the mail yesterday."

"I remember that, my parents spent hours trying to figure out how to put four of us through college at the same time."

"Yeah. Mrs. Bartlett was nice, she said if I needed any extra time off just let her know. And then she said the Governor wasn't happy with the college loan rates so if I needed to take out a loan, the Whitfield Bank and Trust would be more than happy to help. And if Jimmy came in to work over the summer they would use his pay to help pay it off. Lil and I have a meeting this afternoon with the head loan officer."

"Education is important to the Barrington's and the Whitfield's. It doesn't surprise me."

"I just can't believe a numbnuts like me has a kid on his way to college. And my Jackie is sitting for the SATs next week. She wants to go to Reed."

"Well, if she needs a letter of recommendation tell her to give me a call, I'll be happy to write one. Though in all fairness her shoe in rec would be from Abby. They love the Barrington's. You're meeting with Yvette this afternoon?"

"Yeah. Yvette Carlson. Any tips?" He had found that CJ made it her business to know everyone that worked for the Barringtons or the Whitfields.

"Come with all your paper work: W2s for the last few years, tax returns and any type of collateral. I'm sure she'll have all types of payment plan options for you, but she appreciates preparedness."

"Lil got all that together. Been driving me crazy about it for a month. I told her everything is gonna be fine. We'll mortgage the house if we have to. I'll get a second job."

"I can't imagine you'll have a problem. They set up this program as an appreciation for their employees. In this market the Barrington Company and Whitfield Bank have a huge interest in educating people. So, if they can educate the children of loyal employees then maybe it will create more loyal employees. Give and take. Congratulations on your kids. I know what an accomplishment that is."

"Thanks CJ."

They rode in silence for a while. CJ began to realize that they had long ago left the city. "Where are we going?"

"I'm not allowed to tell you, but we're almost there." Moments later they arrived at a big empty field with hot air balloon in the middle. Abby stood in front of the balloon talking to a person CJ assumed was the operator. CJ slipped on her sunglasses and approached them.

"Happy Birthday, baby." Abby said low enough for only CJ to hear.

"Is this my present?"

"Part of it, Claudia this is Garvin. He is the operator. You ready?" CJ nodded and they climbed in the balloon. They went up in the air and flying over the houses. They flew over the flat lands and by the mountains. They stood close enough to each other to touch, but not so close that anyone would assume they were more than just friends. Abby turned to the operator. "Garvin can you show her the surprise?"

Slowly, the balloon turned in the direction of the marina. CJ pointed, "Hey look the warehouse." She looked at Abby with a huge grin on her face. The workers were already at work making the architectural changes she had approved to the property. However, CJ noticed that some of them were cutting a whole in her roof. "What the hell, they are cutting a whole in my roof." Abby gave her a small smile. CJ looked at the operator in panic. "Garvin, set us down. They are putting a whole in my roof. Abby, Stop them!"

"Its ok, Claudia. I requisitioned a change to the property. They are cutting threw the roof so you will have access to the roof. I had a landscaper out to discuss the possibilities of a rooftop garden and we drew up a plan.

"Oh my God!" CJ covered her mouth with her hands. Abby began to panic. What if she had made the wrong move? What if Claudia didn't like the change, or didn't want her to be a part of this.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I wanted it to be a surprise. Claudia please say something?"

"You love gardens." Her face broke out in a huge smile. "I was planning to put one out back, but I never considered putting it on the roof. That's perfect. Absolutely, perfect." CJ looked over Abby's shoulder to see Garvin not looking. She leaned into Abby and placed a kiss on her cheek. "You're like the best girlfriend ever."

"I'm glad you like it. It's the first in a very long list of surprises I have planned for the day." Now, Abby felt apart of what CJ was building. Not only had the younger woman appreciated the surprise, but she had considered building something similar for Abby. Simply because it was something Abby loved. They spent the rest of the morning together in and out of bed. Finally, Abby held a huge dinner with CJs friends and family. It was one of the best birthdays CJ could remember.

XXXX

"Is having children a deal breaker for you?" It was after 4:30am. Millicent couldn't sleep. This conversation had been weighing on her mind for a while. She wasn't the type of woman to be silent, and she figured if she couldn't sleep neither would Jamie.

"Huh?" Jamie sat-up in the bed. He had just finished a conference call with a few overseas representatives. When he crawled into bed he thought she was asleep - guess not.

He and Millicent were at his apartment in the city. Recently he had let the kids decorate the other two rooms to their taste. He wanted them to feel like this was their home as well. On the weekends they spent a lot of time here. Today, Millicent had to work, so Jamie took Brynn and the boys to the office to product test a few of the new video games that were being presented to Barrington Company for release. He wanted them to see what a pitch looked like. After a long day, they had come back here cooked dinner and spent time together as a family. At least that's what Jamie thought. Once Millicent arrived, he had retreated to his office to get some work done. Now she was awake asking questions.

"You want children. If we don't have any are you going to leave?"

"Where is this coming from?"

"I see you with my children. And I know you want kids of your own. And I know why Monica didn't want to have them. I just want to know if…"

"If you tell me you don't want children am I going to leave?" She nodded. "I don't know how to answer that question. I've falling in love with Luke, Dillon and Brynn. I can't imagine not being a part of their lives. I would hope that I'm not the kind of guy that walks away when he doesn't get what he wants." They sat in silence for a minute. "Do you not want more kids?"

"I don't know. When I had Luke and Dillon I thought I was done. Two kids, that's it, I'm perfect. Then one night of trying to make my marriage work I got pregnant with Brynn. I didn't mean too, and as ashamed as I am to say I considered terminating the pregnancy. I was just getting ahead at work, my marriage was falling apart and I didn't think it was fair to bring a baby into that."

"Obviously, you decided not to."

"I did. I was sitting on my mother's couch. I had just told her and my sister I was pregnant. And Lexy in her infinite wisdom said, you don't have to be married to have a baby. I thought mom was going to have a coronary. But she was right. I was unhappy in my marriage, but I knew I could and did love Brynn. And when I thought about it I wanted her. But I didn't plan to have more children. I didn't even want more children. And I'm not sure I want more now. And I don't want to have a baby to hold on to you. I don't want to be that girl."

"You don't have to be. I would love a child I can pass the Barrington name onto. Considering I am the last in the line. It's important to me. It's important to my parents. The hardest part of me and Monica was that she lied about wanting children. You're not lying. So, I guess I have to decide if it's a deal breaker."

"Ok." She slid down in the bed. She didn't know what she was hoping to accomplish by starting this conversation. But here she was having it anyway.

"I love you. I feel like we're a family. I feel like I could be happy with you and the kids," Jamie said. They sat in silence for a minute, both trying to digest the gravity of the conversation. "You wanna know what I loved the best about being a kid?"

"What?"

"Playing on the floor of my father's office while he and my grandfather brokered deals. Having my first summer job at 14, working in the mail room. Mother, suggested it. Its how her father started at Whitfield's, its how my Aunt Buggy started. I learned so much from people that worked on the ground floor; that used the products we were selling or dealt with the systems management had put in place. It was fun. One summer I would work at Barrington another summer at Whitfield. I learned both companies. I thought for sure that I would end up at Whitfield and Abby would run Barrington. But when I finished college and my dad asked me to join the company I was so thrilled. I want to pass that sense of pride and history on to my children. I want them to know what its like to be a part of something that spans generations. I want them to contribute. Abby got that early. It took me forever to learn it."

"You don't talk about your dad a lot even though I know y'all work together all the time."

"I was just always closer to Mother. I could say things to her that I could never say to him. Our house was pretty strained growing up. And as Abby and I got older it became more strained. I always felt like I had something to prove to him, that I wasn't as good as Abby. I always felt like the son you know that a family has, but they only bring out for special occasions. So, I worked hard and spent a lot of hours trying to show him that I was the right man for the job. About two years ago he decided to cut back. I was sitting in that board meeting with him and waiting for him to say the board was going to look for an outsider as CEO. Instead he offered me the job. Told me that he had such pride in calling me his son. That I had surpassed any expectations he had of me and he was resting the company in my capable hands. Now we exist in this comfortable silence. I don't think we will ever share each other's confidence, but I no longer feel that I am not good enough. So, I've relaxed."

"But Abby still acts as the face of the company."

"She's good at it. She has the quick wit and people love to look at her. She travels with my father because she's shrewd and stellar at negotiations. She's gotten the company deals that most of us could never have negotiated. I also think that now that CJ is running the foundation, when my Aunt Buggy decides to retire Abby will begin to run Whitfields."

"So, it was divided. You and your mother. Abby and your father."

"Basically. My mother wasn't very happy. I know she wanted to be a librarian. She loves books. And has assembled quite a collection of rare books. But that's not what was appropriate. She was supposed to grow up and marry well. She did, and then she had Abby. She needed to raise a daughter that would marry as well, that was her job. They fought a lot, rarely saw eye to eye and that was apparent in how each of them treated us. Where Abby was outgoing, I wasn't so I spent a lot of time with Mother in her library reading. She let me read the bawdy stuff and shared the classics with me. She wasn't being judged on how well I turned out, so there was and is an ease that she has with me and not with Abby. I think like most little girls Abby just had my Dad wrapped around her finger. It was like we grew up in two different households."

"You have a good relationship now?"

"Its new. I think we've both began to realize we're adults and what happened before doesn't need to continue to happen. She's found someone to love and so have I."

"I thought Abby and Governor Bartlett have been married for 20 years."

Jamie looked at her. It seemed that she had been there forever so he forgot briefly that Millicent wouldn't know that Abby and CJ we're together. "Abby's a lesbian."

"So, the rumors are true?"

"Yeah. Mother outed her."

"But the Governor defended her."

"He loves her. And I guess she loves him as much as she can. I don't know. But its kinda a family secret."

"Wow. I didn't even see it. I'm gonna have to get my gaydar repaired. So she is with CJ?"

"Yeah."

"I guess it explains why they were sharing a room in London."

"The one bed didn't tip you off." Jamie said sarcastically. She rolled her eyes.

"It was a suite. Is that normal?"

"What sharing a room with an employee?"

"No, having an affair. Keeping a mistress, because there are rumors that the Governor has affairs."

"No, as far as I know neither of my parents cheated. And I think I would know if my mother did. My Aunt Buggy's assistant is her girlfriend/lover whatever you call it, which may be the worse kept secret ever. Laura has worked for her for close to 20 years. Abby had always been faithful until CJ. And I think Jed likes women and I think Abby doesn't care. Why is that a deal breaker for you?"

"Yes. It's not something I could forgive."

"Good to know. I didn't cheat on Monica though I had plenty opportunity and some would even say reason. And I don't have a mistress in an apartment somewhere. And as far as I know Jed doesn't have a girlfriend in an apartment somewhere. Though I guess now Abby does."

"Is that why y'all brokered a truce between Abby and your mother?"

"It was series of things, but it all boiled down to Mother believing that CJ was going to ruin Abby's image. Also, Mother feeling like she was backed into a corner. A lot of things changed in a short period of time. Mother reacted instead of thinking things threw."

"And it strained you and Abby's relationship because you took your Mother's side."

"I took Mother's side because that's what I've always done. But my choice wasn't Mother's fault. I didn't help Abby when she was a teenager and told Mother she was in her room kissing some girl. I can't even remember who the girl was. It was such a big deal at the time and now, not so much."

"Do you have a problem with your sister's orientation?"

"No." He paused as he considered. "No. I think it was just a chink in Abby's armor that I could expose and I did. Now, I'm not proud of it. It ruined my relationship with her and even my grandmother." He looked at the clock. "Its 5am. Are we done with the deep conversation for now?"

"Yeah. I guess." She scooted down in bed and rolled onto her side. Jamie spooned her. "I thought you wanted to go to sleep."

"No all this talk of keeping a girl on the side woke me up."

"So, why don't you wake her up?" She said teasingly. He trailed his hand up her thigh and rested on her lower stomach.

"I could but she's not nearly as sexy as you."

XXXX

**A few weeks later**

Jamie had to swing by Millicent's to pick up some paper work he had left before he headed to work. He briefly thought to himself how much easier it would be when they all lived together. It wasn't the first time he thought about marriage. So, far everything was good. Everything was really good.

He parked his car in her driveway seeing Lexy's minivan. He let himself in and went immediately to Millicent's office which he now used as his office. He immediately found the papers he was looking for and came back into the living room.

"FUCK FUCK FUCK!" He heard someone scream from upstairs. For the briefest of moments he considered ducking out the house, instead he walked up the stairs.

"Lexy!" he called out. She didn't answer. He heard the water running in the hall bathroom. The door was open and Lexy was kneeling on the floor holding a screaming baby and Brynn's hair as the little girl bent over the toilet to vomit. "Lexy you ok?"

She looked up at him. Her eyes were bloodshot, she was covered in vomit and she looked on the verge of tears. "Hey Jamie," she said. "I'm fine. Just, you know, chilling." He always liked Lexy, she was cheeky.

"She sick?" He moved forward to hold Brynn's head.

"Don't move, what she didn't get on me she got on the floor. And I'm pretty sure those shoes cost entirely too much money."

He looked carefully at her. She didn't look well despite being covered in vomit. "Are you ok?" He leaned over to feel her forehead. "You're burning up." He stuck out his hands. "Here, give me Aiden." She handed him the baby and Brynn sat back leaning against her aunt.

"You feel better." Brynn answered by vaulting forward. "She's been doing this all morning. She can't keep anything down."

"I'm gonna put him down. Then you are going to get in bed and I'm going to take care of this and her."

"Jamie you have to go to work."

"Don't worry about that." He disappeared into another room. He put the baby down in the basinet that Lexy always set-up in Millicent's bedroom when she came over to watch the kids. He called his office. His secretary answered. "Hey, Diane you're going to have to cancel my morning something's come up."

"That shouldn't be a problem, but your father has been looking for you."

"Put me through to him." While Jamie waited for his father, he went into Millicent's bathroom and ran a warm bath.

"Jamie, where are you? We were supposed to go over the new account and the prospects for networking the Dian offices."

"I'm at Millicent's; her daughter's sick and so is her sister who is supposed to be watching Brynn. Millicent is working. I can't just abandon them."

"I leave for Hong Kong in the morning."

"As soon as I get them settled I'll grab my laptop and we'll video conference. I can work from here just as easily from anywhere else."

"Fine have Diane set it up. I'll tell Kim that we're doing it through conference." They hung up and Jamie turned off the water and sent Diane a text message. When he made it back to the hallway bathroom, Brynn and Lexy were leaning against door. "Hey, Lexy. Why don't you go get in the tub and I'll take care of her." He reached down and took Brynn in his arms.

"Jamie, I can really take care of this." She said as she got to her feet and promptly swooned into the door.

"No doubt in my mind. But you'll take care of it when you get out of the tub." She nodded and slowly made her way into the Master bedroom. He walked all the way in the bathroom and ran the water in that tub. "You still feel sick." Brynn nodded. "Well, if you feel like you need to throw-up you let me know. Ok."

"Ok, Jamie." She said. He put bubbles in the tub and stripped the vomit soaked clothes off the little girl. He took a bath-tub pillow and propped it in the back of the tub. He put her in.

"Don't slip down ok." He looked down at his clothes and shoes. Lexy was right they were most definitely ruined. He took off his shoes to walk around in the house. He checked on Lexy to see that she had falling asleep in the tub. He pulled some clothes that he kept at Millicent's out and put them in boys' bedroom. He then set about cleaning the bathroom while he kept an eye on Brynn. When he was done, and sure she wasn't going to throw up anymore. He changed. Then he took her out of the tub, dried her off and put her in bed.

"Thank you."

"Sure sweetheart." He went and checked on Lexy. She was still asleep. "Hey you I think its time for you to get out of there."

She opened her eyes and looked at Jamie. "It has gotten pretty cold. I just couldn't move."

"You need help." He grabbed a towel and held it out as he kneeled down. He turned his head and Lexy would have laughed at how cute he was if she wasn't so tired.

"You can look now I'm all covered up." He looked back at her and smiled a little at his own embarrassment. He helped her up and led her out to Millicent's bed and rummaged around in Millicent's drawers for clothes and came out with scrubs. He handed them to her. "I'll put these on and you can go. We'll be fine."

"You are going to bed. A few hours sleep and you'll be fine. I cancelled my morning."

"You can't miss work."

"Hey whats the point of owning your own company if you can't play hookie. Put the scrubs on and get in bed. I'll bring some broth or something around lunch."

"Sure, can you call my mom and tell her we're sick? She's in Atlanta, but she can tell you what to do. And can you call Millicent? She was concerned and I told her I would call when Brynn stopped throwing up." He grabbed the baby in the basinet as he left. When he got downstairs, he went outside and got his work bag and laptop out of the car. He put the basinet down on the couch and set next to it. He called Dora first and got a list. Then he called Millicent while he waited for her to answer he scrolled threw his emails. She came on the line.

"Jamie, I'm kinda busy can I call you later."

"Sure, but Lexy told me to call you. She's fine and Brynn's fine. She wanted you to know."

"What are you doing there? Why isn't she calling me?"

"She's kinda sick. I put her to bed."

"Oh God! I'll be home as soon as I can." There was a short pause. "Damn! We're slammed, but I'll call in some relief. I didn't know she was sick. She should have told me."

"You don't have to rush home. I got everything covered."

"You don't know how to take care of a sick child."

"You're right, but I called your mother and she gave me a list. I'm sure all the things she said they would need is in your kitchen. I'll check on them every half hour. I took Brynn's temperature its 99 and your mother assured me it was no cause for alarm. No need to rush here I'm working from the couch."

"Ok. I don't get off until four, but I'll be home as soon as I can. I'll have my Dad meet the boys at the bus stop and you can call him if you need anything." They said good-bye and hung up. He loaded his laptop and began to work.

With hour intervals and a brief lunch Jamie and his father worked most of the afternoon.

"So, you and Abby will meet with the clients in Hong Kong and I will work with the development team to complete the software specifications. Then I will head to their offices after I finish in Japan next month."

"Sounds like a plan. How are your patients?"

"At last look in sleeping pretty soundly. No more throwing up and they were both able to keep lunch down so I think they are on the road to recovery." He reached over and picked up Aiden who was getting fussy in his basinet.

"Fatherhood looks good on you." His father said.

"Yeah. Well, I'm sure Jack will be by to collect his wife and son soon."

"Your mother says you are thinking about asking Millicent to marry you."

"Yeah. It's heading in that direction. It seems natural."

"It seems like you're getting everything you wanted."

"Any advice sir?"

"Make sure you marry for love. You of all people understand how important that is. Look at me and your sister. A great love only comes around once and when it does you should hold onto it because it may slip away before you can get a firm grip."

"I'm sorry you didn't get that. That you weren't happy."

"I had it briefly son once a long time ago. And since it didn't last I'm glad I could become friends with the woman that has shared my life for all these years." He paused briefly as someone came in. He gave a brief instruction. And turned back to Jamie. "Your mother and I both put ourselves in our marriage. We aren't the loves of each other's lives, but I guess we love each other in our own way. Either way. You married the woman that was good on paper the first time. This time look up from the paper and if you close your eyes and can't imagine your life without her propose immediately." Someone came in the office again. "Son, I need to go. I'll call you from the plane tomorrow."

Jamie never talked to his father about marrying Monica or divorcing her or anything about his personal life with her. He knew James didn't like her, so he had just avoided broaching the subject. He always assumed that his father hated his mother and his mother stayed in the marriage because that's what you did. It never occurred to him that maybe they did have affection for one another; even if it was the affection that came with being with someone for over 40 years.

He headed upstairs to check on his patients. Brynn was asleep and when he cracked the door to the master bedroom Lexy was standing over an empty basinet holder. "Lexy you ok?"

"Yeah, where's Aiden?" Jamie held the baby out to her. And she waived him off. "I thought I heard him crying, but I don't want to get him sick. My head is throbbing." She laid down in bed and closed her eyes.

"Want me to grab you some aspirin?"

"No, its better when I close my eyes." She went to sleep. As he headed back downstairs, Millicent walked in the door.

"How is everyone?" She kissed Aiden's forhead checking his temperature and then kissed Jamie's lips. "He's cool."

"Good. Lexy says her head hurts, but they were both able to keep down lunch and Brynn is drifting in and out of sleep as she watches TV."

"I'll go check on her. Jack's on his way to get Lexy and Aiden, he should be here in 10." Millicent headed upstairs and Jamie put Aiden in his basinet. He began to clean up his work mess, when Jack walked through the front door. The men gathered all the baby items and Lexy's clothes that Jamie washed. Millicent came downstairs with Lexy. Jack wrapped his arm around his wife for support and grabbed the carseat.

"Thanks Jamie. You were a life saver." They left. Jamie and Millicent headed into the kitchen. She sat down at the table while Jamie looked for some dinner.

"How about we order in?" Jamie said.

"Sure, I'm tired and I need to go change the sheets on my bed."

"Don't worry about that. I'll take care of it and order dinner."

"You're good at the taking care of people thing."

"Just call me Florence nightingale."

He pulled open the drawer with the menus and held up the one for her favorite Italian restaurant. She nodded. "Lexy told me you gave her a bath."

He turned around and looked at her to try and explain. "She was sick and couldn't get out of the tub. I didn't see anything I swear."

She laughed as she approached him. "I know I was just giving you a hard time. She told me you turned your head away. She said that you were the best boyfriend ever and very sweet for saving a distressed woman. And I have to agree. You were very sweet." She pulled him close to her. And pulled his head down to her face. "You are definitely the best boyfriend ever. I'll change the sheets. You order dinner." She gave him a soft kiss and headed up stairs.

XXXXX

_Several Weeks later_

"Mom, I don't know if he even wants to get married again. He hasn't been divorced for more than a year." Millicent Lexy, and Dora sat in Dora's kitchen on a early Saturday morning. This was a ritual of theirs having coffee and breakfast just the three of them. Luckily, this weekend Jamie had taken George, Jack, Luke and Dillon fishing and Abby and Jed were taking Cullen to a science exposition at the museum and had agreed to Brynn with them. Now, Millicent was here answering the questions that she had not worked up the courage to talk about with Jamie.

"You two spend all your time together. During the week he commutes from your house, on the weekends you commute from his. He even put his calendar on your refrigerator."

"He did that so the kids would know if he was in the country before calling him."

"What kind of man concerns himself with whether his girlfriend's children can get in touch with him, unless he is thinking marriage." Dora retorted.

"You two sound married," Lexy said.

"I am his first relationship since his divorce. For all I know this could be a rebound. He could get bored and move on. We have kinda domesticated him."

"You're an instant family just mix with water. Besides I don't think he's going anywhere. When you worked that double shift and Brynn got sick then Aiden was crying and I was sick. I told him I could handle it, he told me to go to bed. Sent a message on his cell phone and spent the rest of the day cleaning up vomit and taking care of a sick child and a very sick adult. Even when you came home he didn't run screaming for the hills. He acted like a father. He acted like he had been doing it forever. A man only does that if he's in love."

"Besides," Dora interjected. "Every time he talks about you he lights up."

"He has to carry on the family name. He wants children," Millicent said flatly.

"And you don't?" Lexy asked surprised.

"I don't know. Remember how David was so unengaged when I was pregnant. He never attended an appointment and barely showed up for the boys' birth. He never even showed up for Brynn."

"Jamie is not David." Lexy said.

"I know. He would be so into having a baby. I'm just not sure I am." Millicent sat down at her mother's kitchen table.

"What's your concern?"

"Can I do it all? Most of the time I can barely keep all the balls in the air. And if y'all weren't here I wouldn't be even be able to pick them up once they fell. I work all the time and I swear if Jamie wasn't willing to spend time with the kids and at the house we wouldn't even be having a relationship right now."

Dora wasn't surprised that Millicent was having this problem. From the time she was a little girl she wanted to be a doctor. They had saved and saved to send both girls to school. She had clipped more than her fair share of coupons and had done side jobs just so they could put a little extra away. Luckily, Millicent and Alexa worked really hard in school.

When Millicent met David he seemed nice enough, but eventually it became apparent that he could not handle a woman that was more accomplished than he was. He didn't want Millicent to have any ambition and when they ended their marriage she took a lot of the failure on herself.

"Jamie is not David. And you have to keep saying that to yourself over and over until you get it. Marriage is hard work and I don't know why his failed, but yours did because you were the only one working." Dora said. "And sweetheart you can't have it all without help. There is nothing wrong with asking for it. You're sister and I will always be there for you."

"I'm just nervous that when we get married Jamie is going to get busier than he is right now. Though I do get the since that he spent a lot of time with his father at work. He just wants to pass on his name."

"It's a hell of a name. I have to tell you when Jack found out who you were dating he was pretty impressed. Extremely impressed, in fact. The Barrington's are well respected and so are the Whitfield's. They are both impressive names to pass on. But don't marry him unless you love him. And be honest with him," Lexy said.

"I do love him. I love him so much."

"Then just wait and see."

XXXXX

"Mother what do you think of this one?" Jamie and Elizabeth were out shopping for engagement rings. He was having trouble finding the one that he wanted.

"I think it's rather boring." They had rejected more than a dozen so far.

"I don't think I am going to find anything. Also, I need to keep in mind that she can't wear the ring in surgery. So, maybe not something with a stone." He shook his head in frustration. "I don't remember it being this hard the last time."

"I believe Monica picked out her own ring. If you can call that monstrosity a ring."

"You like her though Mother right. Not like you liked Monica but really like her."

"I do. She seems to treat you well. She's not very young though. Is she willing to have children right away?"

"I don't think she wants anymore children."

"You don't think?"

"We talked about it. She has three."

"Jamie you have to carry on the family name. You have to produce a child with the last name Barrington."

"I know. But I want her. I think I can live without producing a Barrington as long as I have her." Elizabeth had always been adamant that it was necessary for Jamie to carry on the family name. To solidify his right to what the Barringtons had to offer. Now, she realized that a lot of that was her fear that the family would try to push in son aside like they had done her. Like everyone had done her. However, in the last two years a lot had changed including James making Jamie his prodeccessor in name and actuality. She considered whether he actually needed to carry on his name.

"Its not an easy decision to make. I'll support whatever you decide."

"Will Dad?"

"I think so. I won't pretend to know what your father is thinking all the time. But I don't think he would want you to be unhappy just so the company will stay in the family. I mean my father produced two girls. The only reason there is a Whitfield at the head of that company is Buggy refuses to marry."

"She may marry Laura."

"Please." Elizabeth rolled her eyes. They left the store and walked outside.

"Why does Abby's relationship with CJ bother you and Aunt Buggy's relationship with Laura doesn't?" Jamie and Elizabeth relationship had always been closer to friends than mother and son. He never felt guarded when asking her a question.

"Buggy isn't my child. She's always been who she's been. The men were always a sham. Buggy slept with every woman she could get her hands on from the time she was 16."

"For all intents and purposes Abby's marriage to Jed is a sham."

"Her marriage is better than most. She has children she needs to worry about. Traipsing around with some woman is not relationship. It's a fling."

"Mother I don't think it is. Abby loves her. I've seen them together, it looks like love."

Elizabeth didn't respond. She never had what her children were experiencing. She had never gone all loopy over someone. She didn't know it was a possibility in marriage. She had set her daughter up to have what she had. It didn't surprise her that Abby wanted different. Abby always wanted different.

Elizabeth changed the subject. "I have an idea; on the wedding ring. My grandmother gave me her mother's ring before she died. Its small virtually no adornments, just a small ruby chip. Nothing particularly special, but your great-great-grandfather worked really hard to buy it for her. I figured that one day I would give it to your child, but maybe you could give to Millicent. Its perfectly washable. She will have to wear another one in public. We can't have people thinking that you skimped on the second wife. But you can let her pick that one."

"I like that idea."

"Is her ex-husband still causing problems?"

"Same old same old. Not picking the kids up when he is supposed to, dropping them off early."

"That doesn't leave much time for the two of you."

"Its not that bad. She comes with kids Mom. If she says yes they will be our children. We make time for each other." She believed him. He had a light when he talked about Millicent and her children.

"This is really what you want to do?"

"Yes, mother. I've never ever felt this way about anyone."

"Then, lets go get my great-grandmother's ring."

XXX

Jamie was nervous. He stood at George and Dora Monroe's front door. He had been here many times, family dinners and picking up the kids. Any other time he would have knocked once and let himself in – it was always open. However, this time he rang the bell. George came to the door with a paper in his hand his glasses on perched on his nose.

"Jamie, why are you ringing the bell?" George noticed that the usually confident man looked rather nervous.

"George, I wondered if you and Dora had a moment. I need to talk to you about something."

"Sure, son. Come on in."

"Is Dora around?" George walked into the kitchen and called his wife. She came out wiping her hands on her apron.

"Jamie, I didn't know you were coming by. You hungry? We just finished lunch, but it won't take me a moment to fix you something."

"No, I need to talk to both of you. I'm sorry, I had this prepared."

"Jamie is everything ok?" Dora asked.

"Yes, I think so." Jamie took a deep breath. "I know Millicent and I haven't been together long, however, she and the children mean more to me than I expected them to. I want to make a home with her and take care of her. Be there for Luke, Dillon, and Brynn for whatever they need. I would like to ask your permission to propose to Millicent.

Dora gave a squeal of delight. George placed his hand on Dora's leg. "Well son, I have some concerns. You are recently divorced. What are you going to do differently this time?"

"George, that is between Jamie and Millicent," Dora chastised.

"No, Dora it's a fair question. Sir I don't have a really good answer to that question. All I can say is I think we have better communication. I don't want to trash Monica because it was both our faults our marriage failed. However, I want to make my life work with Millicent. I want to make her happy. I want to work at making our marriage work. You know your daughter, she is very straight forward. Even when I try to brush something aside she drags whatever the problem is from me."

"She gets the pigheadedness from her mother." George said. Dora swatted him. "Ok, son. Well, its obvious you can provide for her, but you work a fair amount and so does she. The children aren't going to go away and they are going to require more and more time. How do you plan to accommodate them?"

"I've known from the beginning that Millicent is a package set. I plan on asking Brynn, Dillon and Luke whether I can become a part of their family as well. All I can say is my Dad worked a lot when my sister and I were young. He always made time for us. Attended our games and recitals. I plan to follow his and Jed's examples."

"You know she will have your head if she ever finds out that you came and asked for her hand, right?"

"Yeah, well the kids are next. I want it to be Millicent's decision, but I want the people that mean the most to her to have a say."

"What about your family how are they going to feel about this?" Dora asked.

"I think they will be happy."

"Even your mother?"

"My mother has a reputation of being a bit hard on people. However, she likes Millicent and she wants me to happy. So, she's happy."

"Good. When are you going to do it?"

"Tonight. I'm taking this kids from the bus and if they say yes, I'll be asking Millicent tonight."

"Well, son good luck. You have our blessings." He stood to shake Jamie's hand and Dora moved into give him a hug. "I'll reserve welcoming you to the family after she says 'yes.'"

The conversation with the boys was a bit more difficult. They remembered their parents' divorce and Jamie was struck by how open their questions were about taking care of their mother. He had ordered in burgers and fries after school. Millicent would be coming home soon and he had arranged for wine and dinner for her to be delivered. The conversation as going good until Brynn looked at him and asked,

"Are you going to send us to boarding school?"

Jamie was completely taken aback. Never had the thought crossed his mind. "No, sweetheart I would never do that, unless you wanted to go. Then that's something we would all talk about as a family. Why would you ask that?"

"Because in the movies when the father gets married the means stepmother doesn't want the kids any more they get sent to boarding school. And since Daddy doesn't want us, if you don't want us then Mommy will have to send us away."

"Sweetheart, nothing would ever make your mother send you away." Jamie looked at Luke and Dillon for help. First he thought the boys were going to let him twist in the wind, but Dillon came to his rescue.

"Jamie is asking us if its ok to marry Mom because he wants around. Does the wicked stepmother ever ask the princesses permission in movies?" Brynn shook her head.

"See. Don't worry kid you'll be here for us to torture you for ever." Luke teased his sister. The boys did a fair amount of teasing the little girl, but they were the first to jump to her defense and made sure they took care of her.

"So, if Mom says yes, we'll move to your apartment?" Luke asked.

"That's something we'll decide as a family." Jamie said.

"But your apartment is closer to your work and mom's work."

"I don't want to leave Grandma and Grampie," Brynn interjected.

"It's not something either your mother or I have discussed. Though its more likely that I will move in here. Is that ok?" All of them gave their approval. Jamie looked at his watch to check the time. Millicent would be home in an hour. "Remember this is a secret so if you talk to your Mom before she tells you then you can't say anything." They all promised.

Before Millicent arrived home Dora came and picked them up. She would be preparing them for school in the morning. Depending on how tonight went he was sure Millicent would be telling them in the morning. Millicent walked through the door an hour after Dora left. She looked tired, but had a spring to her step.

He was sitting on the couch, completely unable to read his book when she walked in. "Hey you," she said. She stopped and listened for a moment. "Where are the kids?"

"Your mother came by and got them."

"Oh!" she said. She didn't think much about it considering that it wasn't uncommon for Dora to come and get the children when she worked late or knew she wasn't working the next day. She walked over to him and took the book out of his hands. "This book doesn't seem very interesting? What are you doing here tonight?"

"I ordered dinner." Jamie stood up abruptly. Now, she noticed something was different about him. Jamie usually maintained a calmness about him that soothed her. When he was worried he paced and when something was on his mind he fidgeted. He was fidgeting now. "I had Dora pick up the kids." She felt a sinking feeling. Was it over and she hadn't seen it? Everything had been going to well, but if it was over she wanted to get it over with now.

"Why did you do that?"

"I wanted to talk to you." He looked at her. She returned his look. "We've been together for 10 months. And that's not really along time by some people's standards, and my life has changed dramatically." Her face became stone. He couldn't read her and it made him fidget and pace.

"Jamie if you're going to break up with me just do it and leave?"

"Break up with you. Why would I do that? I want you to marry me."

"What?" She sat back hard in the couch. She'd imagined this, but she thought it was a while off even a year or two.

"I had a speech prepared. My life has changed dramatically. I feel more at home with you and the children here than I do anywhere else. You make me happy, I feel like I can tell you anything and you never judge just listen. I love you more than anything. When I close my eyes I imagine that we will grow old together. And I promise to love you for the rest of my life." Jamie reached into his pocket and pulled out the ring. It was a platinum band with ruby and diamond chips. He got down on one knee in front of her holding the ring out. "On our first date you told me you came as a package deal. I want you and the children to be apart of my life forever. Millicent Griffiths will you consent to becoming my wife?" She looked at him and the ring.

She wanted to say yes. More than anything, however her head beat her heart to the answer, "Jamie we have to talk."


	6. Chapter 6

"Claudia," Abby said from the bathroom of the barn. "Claudia are you listening to me?" Abby stuck her head out the bathroom to see CJ sitting on the bed with a laptop in between her stretched out legs. She clearly was not listening to Abby. "Claudia Jean." Abby said a little demandingly as she approached the bed. CJ looked up.

"Huh?"

"Did you hear me?"

"No, I'm sorry I didn't. Annabelle sent me this email regarding your schedule, you're leaving for Morocco next week. How did I loose track of that? I have you completely scheduled for meetings next week."

"I thought you were going to place my schedule in Annabelle's capable hands?"

"I was. I should have. Carol did check with her and then I changed what Carol had done." She looked at Abby apologetically. Abby returned the look.

"Claudia there are people far more capable than you at handling my schedule."

"I know."

"And lets be honest when you or I interfere things fall apart."

"I'm emailing Carol and Annabelle now. They'll fix it. And I will stay out of it for now on. My powers of organization are clearly lacking."

"Clearly."

"So, what am I supposed to be listening to?"

"The ball. I wanted run an idea by you before I went to Jed with it. So, we are inviting the public to the ball. However, there are security concerns regarding the Governor." CJ laughed. "What's so funny?"

"I think its cute that you call him the Governor when you've been married for over 20 years."

"Well, its easier to think of him as a Governor than Jed in a conversation like this. Anyway, I'm thinking that we expand on your public nomination process and give everyone a full weekend of events and activities. It will allow the State Police the opportunity to run the necessary checks and anyone that they find questionable I will meet with."

"So, then your safety will be at risk?"

"It just a once over test. Make sure they look sane you know. What do you think?"

"I'm all for anything that will make the Police feel better about the Governor's security, but Jed will agree with me on this, your safety is not up for debate. It would devastate him and me if something happened to you. Why don't you send in Toby?"

"Toby's not exactly congenial. He would scare them off."

"Only the non psychotic ones. Then you can weed out your candidate pool. Besides this is what Toby does. And what he is good at. Besides the man has been married for a few years, he has to have a soft side somewhere to get a woman like Andy."

"I think she may have sadomastic tendencies."

"Ewwe Abby. I don't need that picture in my head. Eitherway, Toby is charming and funny. Even though mostly he can be an ass."

"True. Ok. So, I suggest Toby."

"Yeah, plus Annabelle says that the she is getting nominations for very interesting people to attend. So, you should a good time."

"You're not coming?"

"I hadn't planned on it." Abby gave her a pathetic look. "Come on don't look at me like that. I don't want to stand around in ball gown while you and Jed play nice with people. Plus you two thrive on that stuff I just stand there thinking of ways I can shimmy down the drain pipe without ripping my dress."

"You could bring Brooke then you won't be alone."

"Why is this so important to you?"

"I take you didn't read the rest of my schedule. Following the ball I will be in London, Greece, Johannesburg, Holland and Dubai for 15 days. I will be back for a few days, then gone with Jed on some tour of the State he wants to do. Pre-election stuff. We won't see each other for close to a month. Not including the time leading up to the ball that I'll be traveling and in the capital."

"You travel too much."

"I know. Going into the next year I want to cut back so I can be with the kids more. Besides most of these trips are because Barrington are finalizing some really important projects. Once they're finalized they will be Jamie's territory. I'll be completely out of it."

"Fine I'll come to the ball. And I'm bringing Brooke. I guess I can pick up a dress when we take the girls shopping for dresses for the spring formal."

"Oh My God. I'm gonna miss that. I'm like the worse mother in the world." Abby grabbed her phone.

"Don't worry Annabelle has put it on your calendar. I'll call you from the store and you can see what we're looking at."

"I still feel like a bad mother. I should be here for the important things."

"You will be. Helping her get ready, that's important. I'm pretty sure Brooke and I bought my first formal. I don't even remember if Mom was there. Plus its not like this is the first formal Zoey ever attended. She's been to tons of these events with you and the Governor."

"Yeah, I guess."

"Abby, you're a great Mom. Zoey and Cullen know that. And its not gonna change. Ok?"

"Ok."

"So what are you wearing to the ball?"

"I don't know. A few designers have contacted me about wearing them. Annabelle found a local designer that has some pretty great pieces. I might wear one of his."

"Just make sure he shows off your best features."

"Which are?"

"Umm… well, let me think." CJ screwed up her face. "Your brain definitely your brain."

"My brain is my best feature? That's it you like my brain the best."

"Definitely. Your eyes are pretty good too. And your breast. Those are amazing, but make sure he doesn't forget the brain."

"Claudia your silly. Are you ready for bed?"

CJ put all the papers off to the side. "Yeah. You staying all night."

"Yeah. The kids are in the capital with Jed. I'm all yours."

"What will we do with all those free hours?"

"Try not to wake Brooke and Hayden."

XXXX

Jed Bartlett was having a good day. He had signed the bill he promised his constituents when running for election. This morning he had a lovely breakfast with his children and he decided that Zoey did not know enough about math. Over Toby's objective, he instructed the trooper to stop at a local book store. His plan was to pick up Newton's the Principia - in latin of course. Zoey's latin had come a long way. He marveled at how much information his daughter could absorb even as she rolled her eyes at his love of all things arcane.

The minute he approached the counter the clerk recognized him. "Governor, it's a pleasure to meet you."

"Thank you sir. It's a fine book store you have here. Now do you arrange your rare books by the dewey decimal system,"

"Yes sir we do."

"Good. I feel vindicated. Abby thinks I'm crazy because I insist our library be arranged the same way."

The man smiled from ear to ear. "Sir I just want to tell you what a fine job I think you're doing. Even with the mess that was left behind by the other guy. You've really cleaned it up in the capital."

"Thanks its always good to get a ringing endorsement," Jed paid the man and took his packages.

As he stepped into the sunshine he noticed a couple arguing on the street. He turned towards his car when he heard the man yell. "You Stupid Fucking Bitch! You will never leave me!"

_*Pop* *Pop* *Pop*_ The officers were on him before he could react. It was disorienting to be whisked away like that, but he looked around to make sure that all the men that were assigned to protect him were fine. They seemed to be, everyone was barking orders and his head felt woozy. _I'll shut my eyes for a little while._ He thought. He felt the warm liquid on his neck. Someone grabbed him and again orders were barked. He closed his eyes.

XXXX

Abby buttoned the jacket on her black suit. She knew that she would never be able to wear it again. Fixing her make-up had been a trial; foundation and powder so she wouldn't look faded on the cameras; mascara, lipstick, eye liner and eye shadow – not so much that people would think she was putting on a show, but enough. Just enough. She had always been meticulous about applying her make-up. She ran the ritual in her head so she wouldn't forget what to do today. Today. She couldn't quite wrap her mind around what had happened.

She looked at herself in the mirror – never again would she put this on. She looked stoic, she was sure that's what Jed would think, he would make some joke about her earrings being perfect and the shoes looking the best with this suit. Then he would say, "for the love of god Abby can we please leave this room." She needed him now. He would say the thing that would make the hurt and pain go away, but there wasn't any pain. Just an emptiness; incompleteness that she didn't expect.

Today was Jed's funeral. Last week they had spoken on the phone about this summer's vacation plans. Jed wanted to tour DC, Abby wanted to lay on a beach somewhere. She couldn't remember whether or not she had laughed at him and told him that she loved him. Was there last moment memorable for him? Did he know that he was important in her world? Did he understand he meant more to her than she ever thought possible. Or was it just another fruitless conversation about a future that would never come to pass.

"Abby are you ready?" Leo's voice shocked her back into consciousness. She turned to the man dressed in a black suit – a suit that she knew he would never wear again – that he would have worn on any other day. He looked sad and she couldn't bring herself to comfort him; to let him know that she had lost her best friend too.

"Yeah." They left her bedroom and got in the waiting sedan. It would be a very public funeral. When the governor of the state dies, there is no possibility of having a private affair. Zoey sat on one side of her and Cullen sat on the other. Both gripping their mother's hand. They walked in the church together the same way. Jed's parents had come as well as his brother. She didn't want to deal with the drama they brought along. She found herself looking around the cathedral for Jed and it was like a slap when she realized that he was in the casket.

_This has to be a dream. It has to be._ She said to herself over and over. She listened to the priest, and went through the motions of the catholic service she knew well. Then Leo got up to give the Eulogy.

"Good Morning. "The lord giveth and the lord taketh away", these are the words that keep running through my head. One day sitting in pews similar to these, I met Josiah Bartlett. Those were the priest words that day, Jed leaned over to me after the service and said, "Well, he screwed that up." I was 11 and never had I heard someone question a priest, but that was Jed. He knew scripture and knew what every line meant. He believed in few things, his faith, his family, and his state. He was a friend when I needed one the most – and when I was at my lowest point he picked me up. My life is less without him today. I knew him as a bold and kind and caring man, and when I sat down to write his eulogy I disregarded story after story of his work and his life. Newspapers all over the state will tell that story.

We were sharing a small apartment in the middle of the city. He was studying for the priesthood. Jed was sitting in the window trying desperately to get a breeze. He would say later he looked out the window and saw a vision – Abigail Barrington. He raced down the stairs in hopes of getting a closer look. He searched the street for a few minutes before he saw her in a store. He pulled himself together and walked in. Introducing himself and obviously saying something interesting enough to win her affection. When he returned to the apartment that day, he pulled out the enrollment guide and immediately changed his major. The day he met Abby was the beginning of the best days of his life.

Today we are left in our lives an unmistakable void. We will miss you my dear friend forever."

Abby remembered the day well. She looked up from a dress to see a young man in slacks and t-shirt. She was immediately attracted to him. His essence approached before he did. He did have to say anything she was already impressed. She knew from that first meeting that he would be a permanent part of her life.

A tear fell from her eye, she felt empty.

XXXX

"_Lt. Governor Mark Makitdridge was sworn in this afternoon as the new Governor of our state. Last month Governor Josiah Bartlett was shot outside of a local bookstore. The Governor had taken some time out of his busy schedule to do a little shopping. In a random act of violence he was shot by a stray bullet fired at a young woman standing a few feet from the Governor. The suspect, 25 year old Avery Bennett, has been hospitalized. Doctors have said he is suffering from a psychotic break_."

The screen flashed to a picture of Abby at the funeral covered from head to toe in a black: suit, sun glasses and hat. CJ thought briefly that she looked stoic, every bit the suffering widow, but Abby was not there. CJ breathed hard as the news casters continued.

"_The First Lady Abigail Bartlett did not attend the Barrington Foundations annual board meeting. Barrington Fund Manager Claudia Jean Cregg briefly explained Mrs. Bartlett's absence by saying that she is taking care of her children and family in their time of grief. In other news.._."

As the news reporter moved on, CJ flicked off the TV. It had been 18 days since Jed's shooting and Abby had been completely comatose and the other Bartlett's were whirling from the event. Abby had taken to her bed. She refused to move or speak to anyone – her children, CJ, her father, her aunt or her grandmother.

Abigail had left her home in London to move in with Abby. She had never seen her granddaughter this way. No one had expected Jed's death, but no one had expected Abby to crumble quite the way she had.

Cullen had taken to sleeping in his parents' bedroom at the foot of his mother's bed. He would eat only in her presence and everyday he would give Abby the run down of his day. Everyone expected her snap out it until Cullen one day asked CJ what would happen to them if Abby died too. While Cullen clung to his mother, Zoey had locked herself in her room. The only person she would speak with was Hayden. It had gotten so bad that Abigail had arranged for Zoey to have a leave of absence from school.

The house was in a constant state of grief and what everyone feared most was that if Abby didn't pull it together neither would her children.

CJ had struggled about what to do. Helping Abby through this was of the up most importance; not just for her sake, but for the kids as well. She had tried everything she could think of short of throwing freezing cold water on Abby. She knew that Abby had been eating at least something at night, but not enough to sustain her. She feared that eventually they would have to hospitalize Abby. She didn't want it to get that far.

The elevator in the Barrington building let her off on the 35 floor – the executive offices. "Hey, Kim." She said to the young secretary at the desk.

"Hey CJ. He's just ending a call. He'll be ready for you in a moment. How's Mrs. Bartlett?"

"She's doing as well as can be expected." CJ gave a small smile. She didn't know how much Kim knew about Abby current mental state. James Barrington was an intensely private man and couldn't imagine him confiding in anyone. Though, Kim had worked for him for a few years and probably knew everything about him. CJ had learned long ago that brief and vague statements were the best way to operate around here.

The inner office door opened to reveal, James Barrington. "CJ, come in. Thanks for coming up."

"No problem Mr. Barrington." James motioned to one of the chairs.

"Call me James. Mother says nothing has changed in Abby's condition."

"No, she is eating. I have determined that, but she is not currently speaking or acknowledging anyone."

"I didn't think it would hit her this hard."

"She loved Jed. I can't imagine she was prepared for this. Even with him being the Governor."

"I just… I never considered that loosing Jed would tear her apart like this. You maybe, but not Jed."

"He is… was her best friend. She loved him as much as any woman loves her husband. They fit together in a way that I'm not sure many understood."

"I just always assumed it was an act. For the cameras; for us. Especially when you and she… I thought she didn't want her mother to think she had won." He studied CJ, she didn't see uncomfortable though she shifted a little in her chair. "Does it bother you?"

"Her loving Jed? No. He was a great man. He was funny and smart. And nothing could come between them. No one knew her like Jed did. I'm not sure she felt understood until Jed. They had a bond that was unbreakable. It bothers me that her children may loose her."

He finally got it. Abby had managed to love two people at one time, something he could never do. He had let his loss over loosing Marissa destroy any chance he had had at happiness with Elizabeth. Even more he had created tension in his house the invariably affected his children.

"What do you think will help?"

"We have tried everything. Telling her how much she's needed. How Zoey and Cullen need her? I think maybe if Elizabeth would speak with her." CJ trailed off.

"What would that accomplish?"

"Abby has done so much in her life to spite Elizabeth. If spite gets her out of bed, then we can start there. If not I think you and Abigail will have to consider hospitalizing her."

"I will speak with Elizabeth." CJ left.

James Barrington returned home. He walked into the library to find Elizabeth cleaning her bookshelves again. This was the fourth time in as many weeks. He knew her well enough to know that this meant she was trying to work through something.

"Elizabeth?"

"Yes, James." She did not let up from her task.

"Will you take a moment and speak with me." They always had a formality about them. He knew that for most people Elizabeth was a cold and unfeeling woman. However, he knew her in some of her most tender moments. The first day she held Abby or when she would purchase a new book. He found her amazingly insightful and often helped him work through the things that worried him the most. She could be terribly logical. If she were born in a different time and place he didn't know where she would be.

She climbed off the ladder and turned to him wiping her hands. "I'm concerned about Abby. She is not herself. Jed's death has destroyed her and the children simply cannot handle her continued break down. Mother is at her wits end and nothing any of us say seem to get through to her."

"She's grieving." Elizabeth said rather matter of factly.

"Its beyond grief, Elizabeth, she's debilitated." He ran his hair threw her hair, something he often did when he was stressed. It was a trait that Jamie had inherited.

"She just lost her husband in a senseless act. What do you expect?"

"I didn't expect her to break without him."

"She planned to spend her life with this man. Why can no one grasp the possibility that her feelings for Jed are just as strong as they are for that woman?" She yelled at him, whipping her body back towards the shelves.

"Elizabeth?" His tone had softened quite a bit. "Why are you cleaning the bookshelves?"

"I spoke with Jamie. He informed me of Abby's condition. I… I can't help my child James. And its all my fault." She turned to him with tears in her eyes.

"I think you can. Maybe if you. If someone she doesn't…" He trailed off.

"She doesn't trust. I know James; you don't have to sugar coat it."

"Trust wasn't the right word. Look, she would expect the rest of us to try to pick her up and to keep all the pieces in the air. If you went, maybe it will make a difference. If nothing else, you have always aroused a reaction out of her. At least try."

XXXX

_A few hours later_

Elizabeth walked threw the doors of Abby and Jed's bedroom. Her eyes swept the room and saw Abby in bed. Abby looked past her unseeing. Margaret at CJs instructions had begun opening every blind in her bedroom. She pulled a chair up to Abby's bed and leaned down to her.

"I wasn't a very good mother to you. It's the only way I knew, cold indifference and constant ridicule. And I thought it worked, I had raised a daughter that understood the world wasn't her friend. That there was no one in the world she could trust like she trusted herself and that's who you put your hopes and dreams in. And you grew up and became successful. I thought brilliant, she won't succumb to the complacency in her life that I did. She will be better. And you were. Until now.

"I watched you with your children. You had managed to do what I never could, give warmth and support. And still create children that were worthy to be born of the three most powerful families in the region. But now you are destroying them, you are destroying the Bartlett name and legacy. And you are accepting less than what you are.

"I suspect that Jed would be so disappointed in you right now. I think he saw in you what CJ sees, and what I saw you in your father. A fire that could not be hampered. At least that's what I always thought." She got up and headed for the door. Abby didn't move. "Abby if you want to die because Jed's dead then please get it over with. Don't continue to string the people that love you along."

"Why do you care?" Abby's voice was clear. She still hadn't rolled over, but Elizabeth turned back towards the door.

"Because you're my child. I've cared since the day you were born." Elizabeth left.

XXX

Cullen did what he did every evening. He brought his dinner and his mother's to her bedroom. (The staff at Margaret's instruction always prepared a tray that they left near Abby and Jed's bedroom for Cullen.) He would put her plate on her nightstand and sit down and eat his dinner. Today, when he entered the room Abby was not in bed. "Mommy!" He dropped the plates he was carrying. Where had she gone? What happened? Abby came from the bathroom wrapping her robe around her body.

"Cullen whats wrong?" His yell had scared her.

"I thought… I thought you left forever like Daddy."

"Oh sweetheart. I'm not going anywhere." He ran to her and the force of his body knocked her over. "I'm sorry I scared you. I'm really really sorry." Her son wept in her arms. After a few moments, she pulled him back. "Cullen I'm sorry I haven't been able to take care of you."

"I tried to take care of you." The little boy looked up at his mother with a tear stained face.

"I know. And you did such a good job. Thank you baby." Margaret came in, she couldn't contain her smile when she saw that Abby was out of bed. "Margaret would you have someone clean this up?"

"Yes Ma'am."

"Also, tell chef we will be having dinner the dining room." She turned to finish getting dressed, Cullen was right on her heels. "I'll be right back," she said to him and waited for him to slowly acknowledge her. She knew that she had destroyed his security. She would spend the rest of his life trying to piece it back together. "Go tell your great-grandmother that we all will be having dinner in the dining room."

"Even Zoey?"

"Yes." He took off running. Abby dressed in jeans and one of Jed's tee-shirts. They smelled like him and felt like he was there with her. She left her bedroom and walked three doors down to her daughter's. She gently knocked and when no one answered she tried the door. Zoey was sitting at her desk furiously typing.

"Zoey?" At the sound of her mother's voice her fingers paused. When they began again they were slower, then they stopped all together. Her shoulders shook. Abby rushed to her wrapping her arms around her. "Its ok, baby. Its ok. I'm here. I'm here." She whispered into her daughter's hair. Zoey stopped crying. She looked at her mother as if trying to convince herself that her mother was really here.

"I want him back."

"I know. So, do I." they cried together a while. "For him we have to put ourselves back together. Ok?" Zoey shook her head. "We have to. The three of us. He wouldn't want to see us like this. So, let's start small. Let's have dinner together. You don't have to eat much." Abby held out her hand to Zoey, who clutched it and stood with her mother.

They walked downstairs together, into the dining room. Abigail came to them both and hugged them. She looked at Abby. "I don't know what she said to you, but I take back every bad thought I ever had about her." She brushed her granddaughter's hair out of her face. "The cook is in a frenzy making your favorite's Zoey." The truth is the cook had made Abby's or Zoey's favorites every day since Jed's death. Zoey hadn't ever eaten more than her salad.

They sat at the table as dinner was served. Cullen told his mother about school and Abby tried to be as engaged as she could. Abigail filled in the holes when she couldn't. Dinner was hard but Abby knew it was a step. When Abby tried to put Cullen to bed he insisted on staying with her. He joined her and it wasn't very long before Zoey came in as well.

Abby stared off into the room as her children lay in her arms sleeping. She thought about Jed. Trying to imagine what he would say if he saw her right now. Someone knocked at the door. She raised her head as CJ entered.

"Claudia." She smiled at the sight of the taller woman. Her broken heart warmed.

"Hi, I just wanted to see how you are? Abigail told me you had dinner with them tonight."

"I don't know. I'm here." Abby gave her a weak smile.

"Good. Good. I'm gonna head back to the barn and tell Hayden Zoey is with you. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight Claudia. Thank you for checking in."

XXXXX

"Did you speak with her?" Abigail said.

"A little not much."

"I don't know what you said to James that made him talk to Elizabeth and I don't know what Elizabeth to Abby, but whatever it was I am truly grateful."

"She just needed to be reminded that she was needed here too."

"Claudia Jean are you ok."

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just worried about Abby. That's all." She tried to physically shake away the feeling of helplessness. She had done all she could, but she knew Abby. She knew that she had a tendency to shut down instead of fight. What if Abby decided to shut down and shut her out.

"The fear of loosing her isn't selfish."

"How is it not? She just lost her husband she's allowed to grieve. Who am I to expect her to put it aside?"

"Claudia you're being too hard on yourself. You can't expect her to shake it off like nothing has happened. But when we loose someone we care about it takes a toll on us and it can change us. And its ok for those around us to feel the loss. You knew Jed; you cared about him. I know he considered you a friend. More importantly he knew how important you are to Abby, which made him trust you in a way that I think he only trusted Abby and Leo.

"But no one expects you to make your feelings and fears subordinate to Abby's. If you can't talk to her about it, come to me or Brooke. You're gonna take care of her because you love her, but you need to be here on the other end. She's going to need you now more than ever." Abigail gave CJ a big hug.

The taller woman didn't know if Abigail was right. She felt horrible for being happy that Abby had had dinner in the dining room; that she was coming out of her grief. It was selfish to be happy wasn't it?

XXXXXX

CJ stood in her newly renovated warehouse. The furniture would go in tomorrow, but today she surveyed the stone counters and open spaces with pride. It had been a bit of a uphill battle, first finding the right place, the right architect, fighting with Abby and then watching Abby and Brooke fight about the finishes. The last part wasn't nearly as nerve racking; Abby and Brooke seemed to enjoy it more than anything else. She loved this place, and maybe she would actually be able to bring her baby here one day.

One day. A few months ago, one day was never. She never considered the possibility that she would have children with the person she loved the most. She always found her relationship with Abby to fragile. She knew that Abby loved her, but she couldn't turn a blind eye to the fact that she was married. A very public marriage.

Then everything had changed. Jed was dead and Abby had not recovered. Her dream could have become a reality if he was alive, but CJ was sure that his death had marked the end of her dream. She didn't know if it would mark the end of her and Abby. She closed her eyes. Imagining the furniture exactly where it would go. This was not her home. Until she could share it with Abby it wouldn't be.


	7. Chapter 7

R/RWhen you go all I know is that it's the perfect ending to the bad day I've gotten used to spending. All I know when you go its my favorite mistake ~ Sheryl Crow

Abby sat in her sedan staring at the house they had pulled up to. Thomas remained quiet. He waited for his boss to give some indication that she was ready to exit the vehicle. Abby gripped the door handle willing herself to push it open. 'One step at a time,' she said to herself. 'One step.'

She let go of the handle and sat back. She felt the tears welling in her eyes and willed them away. She took a deep breath. "Ok Thomas." The man quickly got out of the car and walked around to open the door. He held out his hand to help and she took it more out of habit than consciousness. She couldn't help but remember all the times she had reached for Jed's hand to get out of a waiting vehicle.

"Thank you." She said quietly he dipped his hat and waited for her to enter the house. She rang the bell of the house and a young man answered. He looked at her in awe. Amazed that the person before him was Abigail Bartlett. He had admired her for years,. Hhe wanted to gush but he knew that the reason she chose this place was for anonymity. The doctor was known for that.

"Dr. Anders will be right with you." He gestured to a couch which she did not sit on. If she sat down now, she wouldn't get back up. "May I get you something to drink? Water perhaps?"

"No, I'm fine." She tried to give him a smile, but it just wouldn't come. With her children she could pretend that everything was getting better, but she couldn't muster the strength to pretend with strangers.

A moment later the door to a room across the hall opened and a woman walked out. She was tall with dark skin, her dreadlocks were pinned back. She wore slacks and a sweater.

She placed a file on the desk of the young man and turned towards Abby. "Mrs. Bartlett, I'm Serena Anders, please come in." She gestured towards the open door. "Sit anywhere you like."

Abby chose the chair closest to the door. Dr. Anders sat across from her. "Mrs. Bartlett I like to start with a few guidelines for our sessions and my approach to counseling." The doctor went through the rules of therapy watching Abby carefully for acknowledgement and understanding.

Dr. Anders studied her client carefully, usually she could tell from her patient's body language the type of person they were. At certain points in her recitation of the rules she would often see clients visibly relax. Abby had not moved. Her facial expressions had not changed. She knew from her research, and her assistant, that Abby Bartlett was known for her grace under pressure. Only a few times in her history had she slipped. However, never to the point of out and out anger. She exemplified what it meant to be a lady.

"Do you have any questions?" Abby shook her head 'no.' "Why did you come in today?"

"My grandmother thought it was important."

"Why?"

"My husband died." There was no inflection, no emotion what so ever.

"When did he die?" For the first time Abby looked confused. 'Could this doctor not know when the governor of the state was murdered.'

"8 months ago. He was shot and killed outside of a bookstore."

"And how does that make you feel?"

Abby looked at the doctor, her face showed controlled anger. "Really. That's what you're going to ask me. How does it make me feel? Some reckless psychopath put a bullet in him and he bled out before the men assigned to protect him could get him to a hospital. How do you think it makes me feel?"

"It's not my job to assume how you feel. Your life as a governor's wife is extremely public. I am not naïve enough to think that what you show to the public is the full truth. So, I ask again how does it make you feel."

Abby sat in stunned silence for a long time. Everyone had told her that they knew how she felt and she had accepted it. This was the first time someone asked her how she felt and wanted a real answer, "Lost." She finally said.

"How?"

"Jed was my best friend. We didn't have a traditional marriage, but without him I don't know who I am." Dr. Anders wrote the last few statements on her pad and moved back up."

"We can start there. But first why does your grandmother think you need to be here."

"Everyone thinks its time for me to move on with my life."

"Whose everyone?"

"My grandmother, my father, Leo and…"

"And."

"And no one. She doesn't seem to care whether I move on with my life or not. She's already moved on with hers." This was the first time Abby was visibly angry.

"Mrs. Bartlett I don't know all the people in your life. Who is she?"

"Claudia."

"Claudia is someone who is important to you."

"Yes."

"And her indifference angers you."

"Why should I care if she doesn't?"

"Why indeed?" Abby looked at her. She was not going to spend an afternoon talking in circles.

"Look, I'm not interested in therapy." Abby got up from her seat. "If you send me a bill I will have someone send you a check." She left without another word.

XXXX

Jamie stepped from his car into his building. The door man greeted him and without acknowledging his presence he made his way to the elevator. He pulled his phone from his pocket and hit 3 on the speed dial. Millicent name appeared. He closed it and returned it to his pocket what was he going to say.

In 8 months sthey had not gotten around to answering the question. Both of there schedules amptedamped up after Jed's death. Jamie took on the responsibility as the face of both the Barrington Company and Foundation. He traveled more than he ever imagined her would. It had given him a new respect for what his sister had done for almost 15 years.

Millicent's schedule became just as busy. She had to take on more and more shifts because the hospital was two doctor's short in her department. Jamie did make time to spend with the children. He never broke a promise to them if he could help it. He figured they had enough of that from their father.

All he wanted to do right now was put his head on a pillow in his apartment. Well, what he really wanted to do was get in his car drive to Millicent's and wrap himself in her. But their relationship y had become soreached a level of strained that he didn't know how to make his way out of the awkwardness.

He opened the door to his apartment and noticed a light on the couch. He thought it was odd, but chalked it up his forgetfulness as he left. He walked over to turn it off before heading to bed.

"Millicent." She was laying the couch with a book on her chest. He looked over to find that it was the board briefing notes. He wondered briefly if she had brought those with her.

He sat on his coffee table looking at her. He felt a sense aof peace as the fatigue faded away. Seeing her herear like this, he allowed himself to indulge in the thought of coming home everyday to her. He reached over and brushed his fingers across his face. HerShe eyes flickered and she woke quickly. Years of medical training had taught her to become alert as quick as possible.

"Jamie." She sat up. "What time is it?"

"After 1."

"I thought you would be home earlier."

"Last minute meeting. I didn't know you would be waiting." He was glad and scared that she was.

"I didn't feel like making the drive home and I couldn't stay in the hospital for another moment." She looked at the briefing book that was in her lap and then back up at him. "I was waiting up for you, but that failed."

"Yeah." He felt a little excited.

"I wanted to talk."

"Oh." His voice was flat.

"You don't think we need to?"

"I guess." He looked down at his hands.d "I don't want to hear you say no. And the longer we don't talk the longer I will get to imagine you as my wife."

"I'm not going to say no. I just want to talk."

"You're not." She shook her head. "You're not." He said the last part to himself. "We're getting married." He looked at her hopeful.

"Not until we talk."

"Ok." She couldn't kill his excitement.

"You want children, and I'm not sure."

"I want you. More than anything."

"Jamie…"

"No listen to me. When I decided to ask you, I knew that you were unsure. I wasn't holding out hoping that a marriage proposal would change your mind. I want you. Period. Children or not. Just you."

"Jamie. I don't want you to compromise."

"I don't want children so they can carry on the family name. I want them because I thought it would be someone I could love, who would love me back." Millicent touched his face. "I realize that would be unfair. But when I let myself accept that I realized that I loved you and I got you. I want you."

"Then my answer is yes. I want to marry you." He pulled her to her feet, kissed her. Tonight was the beginning of them together forever.

XXXXXX

Serena Anders wasn't a person to break rules. In high school, when her friends skipped school to hang out downtown, she went to school. When her sorority made the limit to drink in house 21 (as per the law), she didn't keep a bottle of vodka hidden in her ceiling. She just wasn't that girl.

She had only broken one in her life. Yet here she was braking the her second rule. It was completely against the rules to show up at a client's door unannounced, but something told her that Abby needed her.

She would not have normally pursued a client who didn't want counseling. She truly believed that it wouldn't be effective unless the person wanted her help. However, when Abby Bartlett left her office three days ago, she felt like Abby wanted the help she was just scared to accept it.

She stood at the gates to the palatial estate. She had seen it in pictures, but she wasn't one of those people that drove by in hopes of catching a glimpse of the famous first couple. She was buzzed in without much effort; and made her way to the door. A young redhead woman opened the door to admit her. "Mrs. Barrington is in the library." The young woman led her to the room.

Two women sat at a table across from one another. Files upon files spread in front of them. "Excuse me Mrs. Barrington, this is Dr. Serena Anders." Both women rose to greet Serena.

"Thank you Margaret." The maid left the room closing the door behind her. "I'm Abigail Barrington and this is Claudia Jean Cregg."

"Mrs. Barrington, Miss Cregg." Serena nodded her head. "I'm sorry there must be a mistake I came to see Mrs. Bartlett."

"Abby's not here," CJ said. There was sadness in the taller woman's voice. Serena realized that this must be Claudia; and she realized AAbby was wrong. This woman was definitely not indifferent.

"My granddaughter is picking her children up from school at the moment. I thought we could have a moment to speak."

"I can't discuss Mrs. Bartlett with you without her permission."

"I wasn't interested in a discussion about Abby as much as I was interested in one about you. Why are you here if Abby fired you?"

"I would prefer to discuss that with Mrs. Bartlett."

"You will discuss it with me," Abigail's voice was stern. "My granddaughter does not need or desire a person trying to make a name for herself on her back. You looking to be the psychiatrist to the stars, you need to pick another client."

"I'm not." There was an honesty in her voice that both Abigail and CJ recognized. They both knew that Abby could get under your skin in a matter of minutes and bring out an affection that you didn't expect. They also noticed that the woman didn't elaborate. The words themselves were enough.

"Fine. I'll have Margaret show you to garden porch. If Abby wants to speak with you when she returns, she will meet you there." CJ opened the door and moments later Margaret came in the room and led Serena to the porch.

Serena pulled out her pad and made a notes. 'Protective grandmother. Claudia is Claudia Jean? Loyalty valued.' "Dr. Anders?" Abby's voice jolted her from her continued notes.

"Mrs. Bartlett."

"This is personal service. It would have been easier to put a stamp on the bill and mail it. You didn't have to personally deliver it."

"I haven't. I'm sure Andrew has already sent you the appropriate paper work. I just wanted you to know that if you wanted to continue seeing me, I am at your disposal." Serena closed her notepad and moved to leave. As she passed Abby, the brunette grabbed her wrist.

"I miss him. More than I ever thought possible."

Serena turned to face her. "I can imagine."

"Are you married doctor?" Serena thought briefly. This was a difficult question to answer. Its not information she would usually share with a client, but since she had already broken a rule today there was no reason why she shouldn't break another one.

"Not legally, but I've been with my partner since medical school. aAlmost 12 years. She's a lawyer."

"I married Jed when I was 23. He knew who I was before I knew myself. In the hardest times in my life, he has always been the person I turn too. Could you imagine waking up one day and your partner not being there?"

"No. I couldn't"

"Neither could I. I thought he would always be here. No matter what."

"And now you have to learn to cope with that reality."

"Yes I do." Before Abby could elaborate further, Cullen came rushing in.

"Mommy I need your help this." He thrust a science textbook in her face. What was remarkeableremarkable to the doctor was the visible change that happened in Abby. She went from sad and depressed to happy and energized. Serena suspected it was an act. How long could this woman keep it up?

"I'll get out of your way. iIf you want to talk anymore, you know where to find me."

"Thank you. Margaret will show you out." She sat down in the chair Serena had vacated. "So, what are we learning? Oooo clouds." The doctor could hear the joy in Abby's voice. She followed the maid to the door.

XXXX

In six sessions, Abby had made her way through her relationship with Jed. There meeting, marriage, having children, him running for office. And even his affairs. It was the first time in her life that Abby really talked about how they made her feel.

"What about the first time?"

"I felt inadequate. Like I wasn't really a woman. So, he had to fill his bed with real women. Jed being Jed reassured me. He never lied to me though. The second one became easier I guess. If not easier - a necessary evil."

"So, affairs became common place in your marriage?"

"Yes, I guess. No. Jed didn't have affairs. He slept with women, many different women, but he didn't share anythingn with them. Emotionally we were married even if we weren't physically."

"Until you had an affair."

"Claudia wasn't an affair." Abby voice turned cold. Dr. Anders decided to pursue it, any mention of CJ before Abby would completely shutdown. This time she wouldn't let her off the hook that easily. She knew that the tall redhead was a big part of Abby's grief. It was just a matter of working out why?

"So, she was a someone you filled your bed with on occasion."

"Of course not. She was... is the love of my life."

"So you two are intimate?"

"Not any more."

"Were you going to leave Jed?"

"No, of course not."

"Then she was an affair."

"I wasn't hiding my relationship with her from Jed."

"Just everyone else?" The question hung in the air. Abby didn't know what to say. Serena changed the subject. "Did your grandmother tell you that I met herthem when I came to your house six weeks ago." Abby nodded. "I also met Claudia Jean."

"You met Claudia, I didn't realize she was there."

"They were working when I walked in. The first day you came you said that she was didn't care. I've been wondering since then why you think she doesn't care?"

"I don't know."

"You do Abby."

"Why should she?"

"The only person that can answer that is you. For you she will never care if you don't think that she should. If you don't think you're worth it then what ever affection she has for you doesn't matter." Serena glanced down at her watch. "That's all our time for now."

Abby left. Thomas was waiting at the door as he always. "Where to ma'am?"

"Let's just sit for a moment." She couldn't go home. She had to pull herself together enough so that Zoey didn't pick up on anything. Her daughter was perceptive and she was finding it harder and harder to hide things from her.

Abby watched as Serena and her assistant left the building. The doctor made her way across the street to a parked car, a woman got out holding cell phone to her ear. She leaned over and kissed the doctor on her cheek as she made her way to the passenger's side door. A moment later they drove off.

The brunette imagined what it would be like to have CJ pick her up from work. To have the comfort with each other that without saying a word which one was going to drive.

"Let's go home Thomas." As they pulled away, it was the first time Abby had imagined her life without Jed.


	8. Chapter 8

CJ sat in the barn for the first time in months. It was quiet, almost too quiet. She remembered telling Abby that the reason she was buying the warehouse was that it would give them more time together alone. It hadn't. Everything had changed in a second and there was nothing she could do to control.

She wasn't even sure she was in a relationship anymore. Could you be when the person you want to be with doesn't want to be with you? She had tried to maintain her distance and not push. However, it hadn't gotten her anything in the end. She had still lost Abby.

How long was she supposed to take Abby's silence, her indifference? Was she supposed to wall herself up in this tomb and wait for her lover to dig her out?

CJ felt angry and guilty all at the same time. She wanted Abby, needed her, but Abby couldn't see beyond her own self to CJ. CJ wondered if she thought I would always be here so she doesn't have to try. I'm just going to wait. The Abby she knew wasn't that selfish. But the Abby she knew did shut down and everyone around out when she was hurt.

And CJ couldn't deny that loosing your husband, the way she lost Jed, could devastate anyone. Abby was entitled to her grief. Wasn't she? She couldn't rush the process; expect Abby to dust herself off and move on. She didn't expect that. It was selfish for her to want more than Abby was ready to give.

"Hey," CJ jumped at the voice behind her. She turned to see Abby standing in the door way.

"Abby. Umm. I was just heading to the warehouse." CJ walked around grabbing things that seemed liked they would be important. She didn't have anything left here. Abby noticed that she didn't look up.

"Can we talk before you head out. I've been trying to catch you here the last couple days, but you haven't come home."

"I've been sleeping at the warehouse."

"I figured. Do you have a moment?" Abby tried not react, to stay calm as Dr. Anders had instructed. 'Be honest.' The doctor's words came in her head.

"Sure."

"This time since Jed…" Abby trailed off, dropping her head. CJ wanted to comfort her, but didn't know how. Abby flipped her hair back from her face. "I know that we can't be where we were, but Dr. Anders seemed to think that maybe we should talk."

"So, you don't want to talk."

"No, that's not what I wanted to say. This is not coming out the way I had planned. I've missed you. And I didn't know how to say it. I was wondering if you could give me a chance to figure out where we can go next?"

"I'm not sure Abby. It's been really hard."

"I know. I know." Abby willed the tears away. "I miss you Claudia, so very much. I just want to be with you. Please can we try?"

XXXXXX

They had been coming to see Dr. Anders for more than 3 weeks. This was their fourth visit. Abby had done most of the talking before. Trying to explain, but this time the doctor wanted to hear from CJ.

The conversation had started out calm. It had quickly become heated. CJ couldn't understand why she was yelling, but Abby wasn't getting it. CJ felt at her wits end.

"I can't keep doing this."

"Doing what CJ?" Serena prompted.

"Waiting for her. Waiting for her to come back to me."

"Then I'm just supposed to get over it to suit you," Abby said.

"That's not what I'm saying."

"Yes it is. You're sick of waiting. Well, guess what I don't have a time limit on how I feel."

"I know that. You don't think I know that." CJ roughly ran her hand threw her hair. "What I'm saying is that every time something goes wrong you retreat. And every time I'm left twisting in the wind and am expected to wait. You don't talk to me; you shut me out without a word. And not until you decide to confront it, are we allowed to discuss. Its frustrating Abby and I don't think I can keep doing it."

"I'm sorry I don't work on your schedule."

"You know what Abby, I am the one always fighting for this relationship. Not you, but me. I make a mistake or say the wrong thing you're ready to hit the door. You shut me out, then you apologize and I keep running back. What kind of sick twisted relationship is that?

I do everything on your time line. I'm in a closeted relationship because that's where you are. I wait while you travel the world and work myself into your schedule because that your time line. Every single thing I do is for you, and when I try to tell you how it makes me feel you say. 'I'm sorry I don't work on your schedule.' Fuck your schedule. I'm sick and tired of it."

"Maybe we should back track a little bit. Abby do you understand what CJ is saying to you."

"She wants me to move on so we can go back to being together."

CJ shook her head in frustration. "No, what she's saying is that she feels like she's in a one sided relationship. That she wants to be in this more than you do. Is that true?"

"No, its not. I love her."

"Why do you think she feels your relationship is one sided."

"I don't know."

"CJ, before this have you ever told Abby that you felt it was one sided." CJ thought for a long time. Had she?

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I never thought about it before."

"Did it become one sided after Jed's death. Or do you think its been that way all along."

"I…" Had she felt like this from the beginning. "I don't know. I knew what I was getting into when I fell for Abby. She wasn't free, for a lot of reasons, and it was ok. At least I thought so."

"Let me ask you this. Give me your first reaction not the thought out one. After Jed died, were you relieved? Did you feel that finally you two could be together without any impediments?"

"Yes. God, I'm horrible. I spent months telling everyone that she was entitled to fall apart. That he was her best friend and she could feel how she wanted for however long she wanted. I just didn't think it would take this long." CJ's voice dropped considerably at the last part. She looked at her hands.

"Neither did I." Abby said. CJ's head snapped up. She looked from Serena to Abby. "There were times that I thought about being free. What it would be like if Jed and I weren't married. Or if I would have met CJ first. I never felt guilty about that. In all those times of wondering thoughts I never imagined Jed dead. I never imagined him not being in my life. Even if we had a nasty, bitter divorce I always knew that we would come out on the other side friends. Now he's not here and it has taken me longer than I expected to wrap my head around that."

"You can't help how you feel." CJ said.

"I don't want to hurt you Claudia. I've never wanted to hurt you. But I am and I'm hurting myself."

"Abby tell CJ why you wanted her to come here today."

"You suggested it." Dr. Anders gave Abby a look that she often did when Abby became sarcastic. Abby closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I want my life back. I want a life at least, and I want it with her. We had plans before Jed died. We were going start a family. And I want that more than anything." CJ couldn't look at her.

"CJ is this something you want."

"Yes. I'm just not sure we can ever be what we were."

"You can't." Dr. Anders said. "Both of your lives have changed dramatically. Abby your support fell from under you; and CJ so did yours. You both have to rebuild trust in this relationship and that will take time. But the hardest part is admitting that you have something that is worth being fixed. And both people are committed to fixing. Are you both committed to fixing it?"

"Yes." They both said at the same time.

XXXXX

It was eight o'clock at night. CJ was trying to finish the board report before she went home and went to bed tonight. Six weeks of hard work would be presented in two days to the complete board. She was reading over the finished product making her final edits. Carol would give it a once over for consistency and grammar after she finished.

It had taken a nearly three weeks, but she was finally able to put the conversation with Abby out of her head long enough to be productive. They hadn't really spoken since then. CJ had kept telling herself, after the board meeting she would be able to approach it again. She didn't want to upset Abby again.

She heard someone open the door, not looking up she said, "Carol, you really need to go home. If you can't function tomorrow the kids won't get fed."

"Carol's gone." CJ looked up to see Abby standing in her doorway. "At least she's not at her desk and the light was turned out.

"Oh. I didn't know you were in the building."

"Came in a few hours ago to read over the board notes for the Foundation and the Company. I figure I should be prepared for the meeting."

"Did you have questions or changes?"

"Not about the board items. I just wanted to see you. Dr. Anders gave me some homework. Actually, I was explaining to her how we never had the normal getting to know you portion of a relationship. She said I should try having a conversation with you that's not coming on the end of a fight. Just something normal."

"OK."

"Though short of making it down here, I didn't know how to start." Abby looked at CJ for a while. It always amazed her how graceful she looked even when she was completely stressed.

"The landscaper finished the roof garden last week."

"Yeah. How does it look?"

"Stunning. I had him put in a grill. Brooke's mad cause I won't let her use it."

"Why?"

"Because… because its your garden. No one will use it until you do."

"Oh Claudia." Abby wiped the tears that had begun to form. "I love you so much. I'm sorry. So, incredibly sorry for hurting you."

"Its ok, you've been through a lot."

"Its not ok. You deserve so much more than I've ever been able to give you. And I can't imagine why you stick around."

"I love you. I can't seem to stop."

"I keep expecting you too. That's what's so hard about loosing Jed. He was the first person that I was sure loved me for who I was; not who I was expected to be. So, it was easy for me to be his friend. And we received a mutual benefit from each other. With you, its one sided."

"Not always. I was angry and frustrated and…"

"And right. Stop doing that, stop sweeping your words and feelings under the rug. You're right, you should be able to expect me to let you in and not brush you off when it gets too hard. Jed never let me get away with anything. I always assumed it was because he knew me better than anyone else. But it has occurred to me during counseling that he knew me that well because I let him in. Even when it wasn't pretty. More importantly I let him in because I believed that if he left or betrayed me it wouldn't hurt. So there was no fear with him. With you, Claudia, sometimes all I feel is fear. You became part of me when I wasn't looking. And the only way I knew to stop it from being overwhelming is to shut you out of the unpretty stuff in my life. It was how I survived, how I learned to survive.

Then every single time you took a step that I wasn't expecting I felt like well eventually she's going to leave anyway, so, what I'm doing is necessary to protect myself."

"I'm not going to leave Abby."

"I'm not stupid Claudia. I see how other women look at you. I knew that one day one of them would be able give you something that I may never could. Something that I couldn't compete with. It wasn't until the other day in the office that it occurred to me that I could give you exactly what you wanted and were asking for. And what you deserve. Jed's death has made me confront my insecurities."

"I don't want you to feel insecure when it comes to me."

"I feel that way when it comes to everything, not just you. I wish I knew how to make that feeling go away." Abby got up and sat on CJs desk holding taking her hand. "But I don't want to keep my insecurities in between us any longer. I want to be a partner to you Claudia. Not just a girlfriend. I want you to depend on me the way you haven't been able to. You deserve that; you deserve someone that loves you the way you love them."

"I've never been with someone that's wanted to be that to me before."

"You've gotten used to giving and having someone else take. I want us both to change our behavior. We need to be equals."

XXXXX

"I have to honestly say that I don't miss looking like a beached whale." Millicent held a maternity top up to herself looking at CJ for approval.

"You don't. You're pregnant, and lovely. That shirt however is not." They were both 16 weeks pregnant and shopping for maternity clothes.

XXXXX

Hello all. Sorry for the abrupt ending, but I had to wrap this story up as my life is about to become rather hectic due to a move. This is the end of Barrington: Family Matters. I have decided to pick up some of the story arcs in the next story. Though I don't know when I will begin writing it. Hope you enjoyed this version. ~E~


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